Still A Child
by Kikirini-chan
Summary: Update! Shizuka unwrapped the bandages from her eyes slowly, gazing around, before her blue eyes focused...on an angel... [Shoujo-ai and het] [Mai x Shizuka, Jou x Mai]
1. sightless gazes

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!....so much would be different if I did...::evil grin::

**WARNING:** Contains SHOUJO-AI aka YURI, which is GIRLXGIRL, LESBIANS, GIRL LOVE, whatever you want to call it. To the stupid, a romantic or sexual relationship between two females. Don't like, don't read. Flames will be used to torture Fred (Li-chan knows what I'm talking about!!!! ;P)

**PAIRING:** **Mai/Shizuka**...for the dubbed anime fans, that's Mai/Serenity. May have some **Jonouchi/Mai **implications (IMPLICATIONS!! DON'T HURT ME!!!)

**A/N:** Hey everyone, I'm back with this fanfic...to those who had read it, sorry I haven't updated. The reason is, my old account as **Kikirini** was deactivated somehow. I've noticed the same thing with a lot of other authoresses I know. Anyway, I've had to repost ALL of my other, older fanfics, which took a long time because I had to type them up all over again. I'm sorry. I was lucky to have this chapter of 'Still a Child' all ready, but I have to entirely rewrite the second chapter based on what I remember, because I lost it with my old account. Damn. Anyway, review.

So you know, this takes place while Shizuka has her bandages on. Um, yeah.

* * *

Jonouchi Shizuka cast a long, wary glance about the hospital room, long brunette hair sweeping with her...

Well, if she could. Blind gazes made their way from the girl's sightless eyes, which remained bandaged heavily. She sighed loudly. Though her mind struggled to keep her occupied, content, by showing her images of the room she once knew, she was still dissatisfied. Sure she remembered the hospital room -- white blankets pouring over the bed she lay in, lazy sunlight spilling in the windows, loose curtains hanging from their sides, and an opened door, with occasional patients making their way by -- but even so, she still couldn't see them. She lifted a hand, her blankets rustling in movement, and achingly rubbed at the heavy, hot bandages. She missed the sights, the missed the colors, the faces --

Hurried footsteps. "Don't touch your bandages, Shizuka."

"Kaasan!" Shizuka's gasp was overly happy compared to her mother's stern remark. She was, indeed, still a child. Even with Shizuka's eyes temporarily blinded, her mind could still percieve the image of the older woman's lips curving into a smile.

"You...you seem so anxious, Shizuka," her voice was smiling all its own. "...why?"

"Oh! ... you don't remember, Kaasan?" The older woman looked down at her daughter with soft eyes. "The hospital can release me today... 'Niichan promised to take me into the city today. I'm excited! ..though..." She sighed conspicuously, "...Katsuya's kind of late..."

The softness in her expression faded. "Oh...Katsuya-san..." came her mother's voice, sternness rebuilding in its tone. Shizuka stiffened slightly at the use of 'san'. She was quick to relinquish it, however, continuing with her cheerful demeanor.

"Hai, Kaasan..." her voice barely surpassed a whisper. A soft, desiring smile found her lips. Her bandages would come off...and she would see her brother dueling...she couldn't wait.

* * *

Kujaku Mai barely muttered a 'tch' under her breath, violet purple eyes narrowed in sustained irritation, slender fingers clenching the steering wheel of her convertible.

"I tell you, it's this way, Mai-chan!" Jonouchi Katsuya cried over the screeching of the wheels and murmurs in the streets they passed through, nearly at the end of his wits.

"Enough with the 'chan'," the blonde woman snarled, ignoring Jou's directions. "And we've passed this spot five times already!" She shot him a glare. "You live in this town right?! And you don't even know your way around?! ...baka."

"DON'T CALL ME BAKA!!" Jonouchi held up a fist as though to threaten her. She merely lowered it with one of her own, though keeping her eyes on the road, as though paying no attention to the young duelist.

"Why are you making _me_ drive you, anyway?"

"Because I don't have a driver's license!"

"Then just walk."

Jonouchi stiffened. "It's important, okay?! It's my younger sister...she had her eyes operated on recently...I had to be on time to pick her up, especially today!"

Mai couldn't resist a small grin. "Your sister, eh? The one you kept babbling about in Duelist Kingdom?"

"Hai...I used the money I won to pay for her eye operation...today she finally gets to take off the bandages covering her eyes...I wanted her first sight to be something special...like --"

"You dueling?"

"Hai!" Jou seemed bewildered. "How'd you know, Mai?"

"Only your sister would _want_ to see _you_ dueling," she sneered.

"GODAMMIT, MAI!!"

She seemed to stiffen, head lifting in the slightest, before a sharp heel slammed down on the b rakes, resulting in a loud shriek from Jonouchi (Yes, shriek. LOL). The convertible screeched to a stop.

Jou panted, running a finger through his messy blonde hair, before his brown eyes settled on her. "WHAT THE HELL, MAI?!" he nearly screamed. "ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!"

She pulled off her sunglasses, shotting him a grin. "This is the hospital...ne?" she asked coolly. Jonouchi looked up to the tall, sun-bleached building with wide eyes, settling on a frown when they reached the kanji that made the name. "...h-hai..." A high-pitched laugh met his response, followed by a:

"You're an idiot."

Jonouchi snarled. "MAI!"

* * *

"Ohayo! Shizuka!" Jonouchi greeted the younger girl, mood opposite what it had been moments before. Mai followed behind him with a rather bored expression on her face.

"Katsuya-san..." his mother responded rather surprisedly.

"'Niichan!" Shizuka cheered, however. If not for her temporary handicap, she would have bound into his arms. Jou saved her the trouble by encasing her in a tight embrace. She giggled happily.

"Katsuya-san," his mother repeated rather awkwardly, as her son turned from Shizuka to face her with a cheerful smile. "...ano..."

"Hai, Kaasan?"

She shifted uncomfortably, and shot a glance at Mai who stood, arms crossed, in the dororway. "Is this woman your girlfriend, Katsuya-san...?"

"N-nani?!" Jonouchi struggled to hold back a rather obvious blush. "N-no way!"

Mai seemed rather unaffected. Finally settling on a grin, she approached the brunette girl that was Shizuka. "Well...it's nice to meet you, Shizuka-san." She took Shizuka's hand and shook it, smiling though it wasn't seen. "Jou's always talking about you, you know."

Shizuka could almost see a tall, stern-looking but casual woman with gentle eyes and a smile. She shook back rather vigorously. "You too, Mai-san..." Her hand was warm, though shee seemed to invision it pale, slender and graceful. Though she shook it off as a silly notion, she seemed to feel something was oblivious to everone else -- a small bit of aching need....

* * *

**A/N:** Hopefully, when I rewrite the second chapter of this, it'll be close to what I had originally wrote. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. This is a difficult story to write, what with there being almost NO references on the Mai x Shizuka pairing (for Yu-Gi-Oh! yuri the more popular pairings are Anzu x Shizuka, Mai x Anzu, or any of the girls paired up with Isis). Please, help make the pairing more popular by writing fics about it, Mai and Shizuka are just beautiful together. Ja, and review please.


	2. ever had sake

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Yuugiou, nor do I own Shizuka or Mai. I'm doing this for fan purposes, blah blah blah, I'm not making any money of this, blah blah, and everything else they say in a disclaimer. Dur...

**A/N: **I had posted this chapter originally on this site a while back, but first, my computer died, deleting all my fanfics, then my account was deleted with no reason, so I lost this chapter. I didn't bother to repost it until now. So, it's based completely off what I remember of the chapter. It's not that great because of such, but I promise the third chapter will be better.

Enjoy!

* * *

Shizuka giggled lightly to herself, enjoying the wind whistling in her ears and whipping her hair in all sorts of directions. She was, indeed, used to riding in cars, but it was so _exhilirating_ after sitting in a hospital room for so long...It was...finally here.

_Soon, Shizuka would finally be able to see again..._She would pull off her bandages, and see Katsuya dueling. _Winning._

...she couldn't _wait._

"Now, off to the Finals!" Jou grinned excitedly, raising a fist triumphantly. "I'm gonna kick _butt_ today! No way I'll let that creep Kaiba beat me this tim--!"

"Let me guess..." Mai interrupted purposely, "you don't know where _that_ is, either, do you?" Shizuka could just imagine the devious smirk that had made its way across a pair of thin, pale lips. Dark eyes were narrowed boredly, focused ahead onto the road.

"Shut UP, Mai!!" Jou all but returned politely.

A noticeable sweatdrop formed on Shizuka's face nervously. She leaned forward, resting her pale, thin arms on the seats before her. "Finals?" she echoed uncertainly. "The Battle City finals are _today...?"_

"Hai," responded Mai coolly. Shizuka could see the full boredom building on Mai-san's face, as she responded tonelessly.

"Oh..." Shizuka slumped back into her seat. "Niichan...you promised to take me into the city, right?" she added childishly, pleading in a way. "Are you going to be able to...?"

"Hai!" Jou grinned reassuringly, ignoring the fact that Shizuka was blind to his facial expressions. "Let's do it right now! Where do you want to go?"

"...**iie**," (1) Mai finished firmly.

Both Shizuka and Jou nearly fell backwards from this sudden interruption. "Nani??"

"We're not," the blonde woman continued, as though airily commenting on any other subject. It was of no interest, no importance to her. "The Finals are today, we don't know when they start, so we're heading **straight** there."

"Come on, Mai-chan!" Jou argued, voice furious. "I promised Shizuka-chan that I'd take her out into the city today, first thing!"

_"Don't call me Mai-chan..."_ Mai hissed dangerously.

_'Oh...' _Shizuka slumped back into her seat silently, face encased by a profound, pale disappointment that went unnoticed by the two up front. _'Mai-san is very serious about these duels...no wonder she will not stop for an hour or so...I'm sure she didn't even want to drive Niichan out to get me...'_ She envisioned an angry young woman, glaring at Katsuya, shooting out the same "NO..." to his every request. She was firmly interested in her games, nothing more. Still, she had agreed...

Why was she so absorbed in these games...? What...what kind of person was she...?

_Just who was Mai? ...as a person, as a being? _

Shizuka had become entirely silent and still from her thoughts, intoxicated from the mere thought of this 'stranger'. _What was it that she wanted to know about Mai...?_

...everything.

She was...interesting. Just hearing Jou around her, speaking to her (arguing with her, Shizuka added with a soft grin), she could tell Jou liked her very much. But she was...a mystery to the young brunette. She wanted to see her, to know her...

_To know everything about her..._

The intrigue that emanated profusely from Mai was addicting, and Shizuka could not tear away from it.

_'Hunh...'_

Her forlorn curiousity found itself disturbed as a new argument formed between the two up front.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jou nearly shouted over the roaring wind. "_I'll_ be the one to kick your ass this time! And then I'll take on Kaiba!"

"Tch," Mai breathed. "With _my _Harpy Ladies pitted against you? You were lucky to win the first time, in Duelist Kingdom."

"Don't forget, _you_, of all people, lost to Anzu, who isn't even a duelist," Jou joked, raising a finger as though proving a point.

"I _let_ her win, baka."

"Don't call me baka!" Jou shouted.

"A-ano..." Shizuka began, a nervous flush spreading across her cheeks. "I'm sure you'll both do good..."

Jou took this to his advantage. "And check _that_ out! Shizuka-chan is rooting for _me!_"

Mai scoffed. "I don't need anyone to cheer for me. I'll win this, or I'll die trying."

Jou whistled dramatically.

Shizuka smiled blankly. "But..'Niichan...isn't it just a game...?" she murmured softly, unsure of whether it was wise to ask such a question.

"Hunh?" Jou shot her a questionable look, though it went unnoticed by Shizuka's temporary handicap. "Hai...of course it's a game! What do you mean?"

"N-nothing..." Shizuka stammered uncertainly. _'They're so intense...so passionate...'_ her mind had the nerve to remark. _'Katsuya's friends are the same as well, I know...I just...don't understand..._

_How can someone be so passionate about a game...?'_

She grinned awkwardly to herself, erasing the thought from her head. 'Baka...' she inwardly named. _Such childish questions..._ She broke away from her train of thought, enjoying the peace (tense peace, if she counted the now silent war between Katsuya and Mai up front).

It wasn't long until such was disturbed.

Mai slammed down on the brake, earning earning a shriek from both Jonouchi _and_ Shizuka. The car screeched, sliding to a halt easily beside the sidewalk. Mai smiled triumphantly, Shizuka nearly collapsed in her seat, and Jou was ready to spit bullets.

_'Arigatou, Kami-sama, for seatbelts...'_

"MAI...CHAN....!!" Jou growled viciously, fingers flexing dangerously. "ARE...YOU...TRYING TO KILL US....??"

"N-niichan, calm down..." panted a sweating Shizuka, nervous from Mai-san's driving skills. "M-Mai-san...na..nani you...?"

"Iie," she replied softly, raising a pale finger to point forward. Jou's eyes followed their direction slowly, falling across the large balloon graced with a dueling arena atop it. His eyes narrowed in embarrassment.

"Ah...hai...the Finals..." he murmured, barely beyond a whisper. Mai followed with another high-pitched laugh, with which he replied with: "SHUT UP!!!" Shizuka gasped lightly when the sounds of the doors slamming reached her ears.

"M-matte you!" she stammered, hands fumbling about for a doorknob to no success. She was saved though, as Jou pulled it open for her, earning her to topple right into his arms. She smiled guiltily, as she allowed him to pull her to her feet. "Doumo, Niichan..." she giggled softly.

"Careful," he replied cheerfully, a grin of equal softness and cheer crossing his lips. He grasped her hand firmly, leading her over to an impatient Mai, standing with her hands at her hips.

"We haven't got all day..." she nearly snarled.

"Heh.." Jou sweat-dropped. His cheerful demeanor was lost as they trudged over the sun-bleached pavement toward a tall man graced with short, brunette hair, icy eyes, a long white coat and a stern expression. That same, frozen expression made its way over the shorter boy with amusement.

"Ah..." Kaiba Seto murmured in a soft, breathy, though obviously harsh tone. "Jonouchi...why have you slinked over to the finals?" Jonouchi shot him a glare, stopping with such an expression as though looks could kill. Shizuka stopped with him, listening to the icy voice speak. "You know..." Seto continued, a smirk crossing his pale lips, "Mutts aren't allowed here."

"Shut the hell up, Kaiba!!" Jou spat furiously, halting the two girls in front of him. "I won the damn Locator Cards, I'm playing in the Finals! So stop your crap!"

"Heh...you? You won them? All by yourself? Tell me, I'd like to know: How many did Yugi give you this time?" Seto finished.

"KAIBA!!!"

"N-niichan..." Shizuka tried to reason, placing a slender hand over her brother's shoulder. She recognized the name Kaiba..._Katsuya had a rivalry with Kaiba Seto??_

Seto's expression was contorted with slight surprise when the young girl stepped in. He hid it quickly, speaking more quietly, though harshness seeped its way into his words. "Oi, kou-san. (2) This isn't an open event. If you're not a duelist, then leave."

_K-kou-san...?_ Shizuka felt a spark of anger, something unusual for her, boil in her. "O-oi, juuyoun desu..." (3)

"Shut your mouth, Kaiba!!" Jonouchi yelled, more furious then ever. "She's my sister! And she's going to finally be able to see tonight! The first thing she's gonna see is ME dueling! So don't fucking ruin it for her!!"

Seto grinned, shooting a look to the young brunette. "Heh...aa. Don't cause trouble then, kou-san..."

Shizuka heard her brother release a loud snarl as response, which probably added to the fact that Kaiba had called him a dog, and yanked Shizuka forward, leading her up to the arena. "Niichan! Daijoubu?(4) Kaiba-san doesn't seem very nice..." she added in a smaller voice.

"He's a jerk so just stay away!!" Jonouchi replied loudy.

Well, that was the end of _that. _Shizuka stumbled alongside her brother awkwardly, until they finally slowed and halted.

"Not as many people here as I thought..." Mai remarked. "Even Yugi-san hasn't arrived."

"YOSHI!" Jou cried out of nowhere. "If I can't beat creepy Kaiba, Yugi can!" He laughed maniacally, almost, at this thought.

"Baka..." Shizuka heard his female friend murmur under her breath. She would've giggled, though she remained distracted.

"_Kousan..._"

_Am I really that childish...?_

"Yugi!" Jou cried happily, scampering away from his sister to his tri-haired friend. "You're here!! Let's kick Kaiba's ass while we're here!"

"H-hai..." Yugi replied in response, sweat-dropping a bit. "We have to watch out for that Ishtar Malik-san...after all that's happened, I'm more worried about --"

"Who cares about Ishtar! WE'LL KICK KAIBA'S BUTT!!"

"Eh..." Yugi grinned, flushing in embarrassment.

"Ignore the baka," Mai finally said, taking firm hold of Shizuka's wrist and pulling her over to some seats. Shizuka dragged along at first reaction, too completely lost in her guilty thoughts to notice it. Mai looked back, stopping, as a confused Shizuka gazed back blindly. "Nani? Are you still upset because of what Kaiba said?"

"Iie!" The brunette replied quickly. "It's not that..."

_Not really..._

"Ah..." Mai replied, annoyance reflecting clearly in her tone. "I get it. You're still ticked

that I wouldn't let Jou take you around the town, right? Geh, it's not that big of a deal..."

"Iie! Iie! Really, I'm fine, ano... M-Mai-san!!"

"Shizuka-san. I'll take you out quickly, okay? Jou's preoccupied, so, I'll take you for a drive. We'll stop somewhere for a little while, is that okay?" Mai said firmly, pulling Shizuka's hand forcefully back away from the arena.

"Mai-san, really, I don't--!" she tried to reason. A moment later she was pushed right into the front seat of Mai's car, despite her attempts to convince the blonde woman she was fine.

* * *

Seto watched a chocolate-skinned boy with faded white hair trudge onto the balloon, glancing around almost cautiously, like he was in some sort of danger. Seto nodded, acknowledging him, before following. He stood proudly in the arena, facing down to all the duelists. He cleared his throat loudly, and spoke.

"Aa...everyone's here. The Battle City Finals commence now!!" He nodded curtly to a suited man, one of his servants who rushed off into the lower depths of the balloon. As Seto spoke, the device lifted off gracefully. "The best of the duelists have made it here...with a few lucky exceptions," he shot Jou a glare, who gazed up unknowing of what his brown-haired rival meant. "We'll start off immediately. The first duel is between Jonouchi Katsuya and Ishtar Malik! Step up to the arena now."

* * *

"M-Mai-san...really...you don't have to do this..." Shizuka mumbled. She had long given up on trying to zealously tell Mai to turn back, the woman was determined to ease Shizuka's disappointment that she imagined the younger girl had.

"So. Where do you want to go?" Mai asked as she slowed the car to a halt before a red light.

"Ano..."

"You don't even know? Don't tell me that, like Jou, you don't know your way around town either?!"

"Iie...I've been living with Kaasan in a different part of Japan for a while now..." Shizuka replied.

"Ahh..." Mai responded. "Demo..." She glanced around. "Demo, Shizuka-san," she began, eyeing a small bar with a twinkle in her eye. "Have you ever had sake before?"

* * *

Jou stepped bravely up to the arena, watching his egyptian opponent doing the same, with a devious smirk across his dark lips. _Youshi! I'm ready. Shizuka-chan...you're going to take off your bandages and see me duel. And Mai-chan...I know you'll watch. I know you both believe in me..._

_Mai-chan, Shizuka-chan, I know you'll give me strength to win this!!!_

To be continued.

1) Iie = No.

2) Oi, kou-san = "Hey kid." I don't speak Nihongo, so they probably say it differently. ::sighs:: Oh well...

3) Oi, juuyoun desu = "Hey, I'm fourteen!"

4) Daijoubu? = Literally means "It's all right". Shizuka used it here as a casual question, "Are you all right?". The longer way to say it is "Daijoubu desu ka?"

**A/N: **I've been watching my latest anime, _Hikaru no Go. _It's really great, and because it's entirely in japanese (YAY!), I've been learning a lot, that's why I had the urge to write all this japanese. Sorry. Hope you enjoyed, or at least tried to. -.-;; I'll update as soon as I can.

**Review Corner: **

**Dark Priestess Ray: **Thanks. Mai x Shizuka IS a rare pairing, even I haven't read any fics on them. It has a small fanbase though....::hopes they will write fics on them as well:: Ah, well. Hope you enjoyed the second chapter!


	3. an angel

**Disclaimer:** Nope, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!...there would be ten entire chapters devoted to torturing Anzu if I did!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY FOR TORTURING ANZU!!! ::does her happy dance::

**A/N:**When I first wrote this story, I told myself, and the readers, I would not include any duel scenes, or go into details of the Battle City tournament. I ended up delving into it a bit anyway ;; I know that I have disappointed loyal watchers of the show already, by screwing up the timing of Shizuka taking off her bandages, the events leading up to the Finals, and all that Malik related stuff. I became tired of the horrid dubs, so I stopped watching the show. ::sighs:: Please enjoy the new chapter...

* * *

"A-ano..." Shizuka stammered when she heard the clunk of glass in front of her. "M-Mai-san..."

"Eh?" The blonde replied, half-absorbed in her own cup of liquor. "Nani? Haven't you ever had sake before?"

"No..." Awkwardly, the brunette groped around, fingers encircling the glass and lifting it to her hesitant lips, before lowering it. "I'm not sure I should..."

Mai sighed, curly blonde hair dancing with her every movement. "Then don't have it," she said boredly. "Once the dueling is over, Jou will take you somewhere." She paused, taking another sip of hers. "I dunno...I could use some..."

"Are you...nervous...?" Shizuka picked up on the subject.

Mai hit herself mentally for even bringing it up. If Shizuka had been another duelist, she might have laughed.

"Yeah...I guess...but I'm NOT afraid," she was quick to add. "It's just...this is a big tournament...and...I just really want to win..." She piped up, "I want to be the best. I'll beat every duelist alive if I have to."

"Oh...well...good luck, Mai-san.." Shizuka took a temptive sip, trying unsuccessfully to ignore the sensations the sake sent through her. _I just don't understand...how can people be so passionate about a game...?_

* * *

"Are you giving up?" Ishtar Malik almost whispered; speaking in a tone he knew only Jonouchi could hear.

(A/N: The duel between Jou and Rishid!! I don't know much about it, except how it ended! Don't hurt me for wrong information!!! For clueless ones like meh, Rishid looks like Malik now!)

"...No..." Jou declared through his teeth, hesitantly taking hold of his deck and pulling free another card. He held it away from him in the air...like he was afraid to look, to see what his luck had brought him...

_I ... have to win...I must win...gods...Yugi...Honda...Anzu...Mai...Shizuka...I really need you right now...I need your support..._ If possible, his closed eyes clenched even harder... _Shizuka...you were always my inspiration...please....I need you to win...!_

"Sh-Shizuka...!" he nearly gasped, brown eyes widening and falling desperately on the crowd of duelists below.

"Come on, Jou! You can win!" Yugi cried, worry, fear and determination for his friend mixed in his expression.

"You can do it, Jonouchi!" was Anzu's cry.

"Don't back down," Honda all but yelled.

_Shizuka...you..._

_You're not there..._

The brunette wasn't there, lovely blue eyes free from the bandages, cheering him on, inspiring him with just a smile...

Did she...?

"Hurry up and make your move..." Malik spat, faded white hair rustling.

"Hunh..." Jou was in pieces...

* * *

"Mai-san..."

"Hn?"

"What time is it?" Shizuka slurred, alcohol coursing through her. "I mean..."

"Damn!" the blonde woman stood, shooting a glance to the outside, where darkness met her stare. "How could I lose track of time?! I've gotta get there!!" Her pale hand met with Shizuka's, grasping it firmly. "Come on, Shizuka-san!"

"Ah!" the said brunette gasped, nearly falling over as she was tugged through the crowded bar, and out into the street. "Mai-san...! Ano..!"

_Mai-san...you..._

Shizuka barely comprehended her feet trudging awkwardly across the pavement as a car door opened before her, and she was shoved in. "M-Mai!! Na-"

"Quiet!" the blonde woman snapped, graceful fingers trailing along the keys, snapping them into the ignition. She had to make it...everything depended upon making it to the arena...

_Her dreams depended upon it...!_

"Mai-san!! Slow down!!" Shizuka shrieked, small, pale hands in a death-grip on her seat. Her voice was beyond fear...

Mai couldn't hear her anymore. She couldn't hear the relentless roar of the automobile anymore....

_All that mattered was getting to the tournament..._

Shizuka hung on for her life, heart beating erratically in her chest. _Mai-san...Duel Monsters is only a game..._

_Why is this so important to you...?!_

"Kyaa!" Shizuka gasped when the car came to a short stop, sending her forward heavily. "M-M-Mai-san...! Matte you...help..."

"Come ON!!" Mai shouted, grasping Shizuka's hand thickly, showing almost no regard for Shizuka. Shizuka felt her feet again stumbling awkwardly across the hard pavement. She fumbled in her steps several times, shrieking lightly each time, though the blonde woman paid her no mind. Shizuka had never been so scared in her life...

_Never felt so disregarded..._

"Mai-san...! Slow down...you...you'll..." Shizuka stammered. She spoke, but no words filtered over Mai. She was nothing..._nothing compared to this game Mai loved...._ "It's...it's just...."

"NANI?!" Mai snapped, slowing in the slightest to turn and face the smaller girl, though it went unnoticed by Shizuka.

"It's...."

_"It's just a game, Mai-san!!"_

Mai could not sense any more...she stared harshly at the oblivious young girl, before ripping her hand out of Shizuka's grasp... Shizuka gasped lightly in response...

_"It's more than a game...!" _Shizuka fell to the ground painfully from that one action, scraping her knees freshly and spilling blood over the wound and pavement.

"Mai...san...!" The duelist stormed away in response, leaving the blinded Shizuka to grope about her surroundings.

"It's more than a game...!" she repeated, more firmly than ever. _She could not sense any more...she could not feel any more..._

_All she could feel was the boiling rage, bubbling within her... all for Shizuka, all for this insolent child..._

"It's..more.... it's...my life...it's Jou's life....Yugi's life...it's all I can do....to prove myself..._to be strong_..." Mai couldn't speak anymore...as she gazed up into the moonlit sky, darkness pinned back by the bright pinpricks that were stars...and in that sky...hung heavily a far-off balloon...

_No..._

_"NO...!!!" _

Mai fell to the ground as well, pounding her slender fists against the cold pavement.

"Mai-san...." Shizuka whimpered, swaying dizzily about as she attempted to crawl across the unfamiliar ground she had been left upon. Every step was dangerous, awkward...unfamiliar... Her knees singed with each contact they made with the ground, and she felt fearful tears staining her bandages... "Mai-san...! Mai-san, onegai..."

_Mai-san, I can't see anything...._

Slender fingers grasped at her bandages, at her _bindings..._ She felt them rip, tear, and fall from her wide, blue eyes... Niichan would be so disappointed, but...

_...but she was trapped...in a dark world by herself..._

Light spilled in...and everything was so _blurred...._but...

_Shizuka was seeing again...._

Her breath hitched in her chest.

A woman stood ahead of her...in a halo of moonlight... the light even seemed to create faerie wings about her... this woman...was she...

_Was this an angel.....? _

Her vision cleared, slowly... as each curl of the woman's pale, moonlit blonde hair made itself known to Shizuka. She couldn't breathe...all she could do was watch..._watch in breathlessness...._

"Gomen...ne..." Mai murmured softly, snapping Shizuka back into focus. She turned slowly to face the younger girl.

"Mai...san...?" Shizuka couldn't even speak now. This angel..this was Mai? She watched in awe as the woman turned...revealed her pale features....her violet eyes....

_Her beautiful face...._

"Gomen..." Mai repeated, face forming a rueful smile. "I was really harsh there, Shizuka. Gomen." She reached a hand to the fallen girl, never losing her gentle expression. Shizuka merely stared at the extended hand, and Mai's face....

_Her intoxicating features..._

"Mai...san," Shizuka began, only to be pulled up by Mai. She couldn't take her eyes off her... "A...ano..." she bowed quickly. "M-moshi wake arimasen! (1) I...I was cruel, Mai-san, I shouldn't have said something so rude about your interests..."

"You're right," Mai replied, and Shizuka's head craned up to see her, eyes caught in confusion. Mai merely continued. "Duel Monsters...is a game, I should know that, as a duelist myself... it's just that..."

"Hai?"

Mai shook herself. "Nothing," she pulled Shizuka into an embrace, a forgiving one. Shizuka froze in her grasp, awe controlling her senses expertly. She lost in herself in the brief warmth Mai gave her...in the feel of her arms entangled through Shizuka's hair, wrapped nicely around her neck and shoulders....

_This wasn't like Mai..._

Even Shizuka could tell. "Mai...you're upset...?"

"Iie," she replied thickly. "Come on Shizuka. The Duelist Finals won't be back for a while...you can stay at my house." Keeping an arm around Shizuka, she led her back to the convertible.

Shizuka couldn't think. She could only feel.

_Mai surrounding her...Mai's breath lighting grazing her neck..._

_The beautiful creature Mai was standing in the moonlight..._

The two stayed silent as they reached her house. Shizuka collapsed onto the guest bed, eyes wide and wondering. She could only see _her..._ No clear thought crossed her head, no registered sense showed itself...only one thing remained firm in her mind:

_Mai-san is an angel...._

* * *

**A/N:** Wow...I finally wrote this chapter. I never even finished this chapter when I first started the story a while back on , before my account was deleted. I hope the fic turns out alright from this point on. Review please!!!

**Japanese:**

1) Moshi wake arimasen -- The most polite way to apologize. It's used mostly for superiors, elders, or customers, but Shizuka is intensely sorry when she says it here, so..yeah.

**Review Corner: **

**Kohako -- **Ah, a Seto/Jou fan? As much as I love that pairing, it wouldn't fit into what I have planned for this story. Sorry, but thanks for reading!!

**Artemis Moonclaw **-- Ano...thanks??


	4. she could feel his fear

Disclaimer: I don't own Yuugiou...::sighs longingly::

Flame Feature of the chapter!: (Meaning a review from yet another anonymously flaming coward)

From: **evil bakura**

i hate it. it really really sucks. joey/mai forever! you must be sick to think that serenity is a lesbian. all the yugioh girls are straight, i hope you know. and if you dont, you should. you have a very sick mind.

::sighs:: That is pathetically narrow-minded...Do you know what else is pathetic?? The fact that you couldn't even log in to flame me. That way, I could've emailed you back and started up a reasonable debate with you about your opinion. There are plenty of pairings out there that I despise, but if I feel the need to flame them, I can at least do it to their face.

And you know? This is fanfiction. That means I can imagine, and write about, Mai and Shizuka being in love, or lesbians, if you must call it that, just like how you can imagine Jou and Mai are in love. There is nothing sick about thinking that. I assure you, there are plenty of other people who think the same about Mai and Shizuka, even if they don't write about them as I am.

If you don't like who I pair up as a couple, then ignore it. I didn't force you to come in and read what I have written (if you even read it), nor do people force me to read on my least favorite pairings. It's as simple as that. If you can't handle the fact that people are going to write about pairings that not everyone is going to like, then why are you even READING fanfiction? That is how it is, and probably always will be. You and your piteously narrow-minded people can deal with it.

Ah...now that that's over, shall I get on with the fanfic? Okay. Please enjoy, if you aren't disgusted by lesbian content (I don't even think I'll get to that happy stuff in this chapter anyway).

* * *

_Darkness..._

Shizuka vaguely realized of her black surroundings, head snapping every which way as though searching for some light, some familiar object, face...She knew this feeling so well...to be trapped in the dark...she hated the darkness...

_It scared her so much..._

Her eyes forced themselves open, hoping for some success, though nothing changed. Her heart was beginning to race, skin beginning to perspire... was she...?

_Was Shizuka blind again...?_

Her body felt heavy, numb, and _cold_ as she tried to move about... She reached a slender hand to her face, groping about for some clue...she didn't want to be left in the dark...

_Trapped in the darkness, alone and scared..._

Her fingers alit upon a feathery, soft substance, overlapping itself in spots...she trailed her fingertips along it, feeling it run all the way around her head and over her silky hair...

_Bandages..._

Shizuka froze at that realization. "N-Niichan...!" she cried senselessly, standing and trudging awkwardly forward. _She hated this... being ensnared in her own across an unfamiliar ground...a _dangerous _ground..._

It scared her.

"Niichan!! Mai-san!" she cried again, tripping and falling to the hard ground. She felt the brief pain course through her limbs, before she felt about blindly. Her eyes burned, and moisture ran down her cheeks, wettening her bandages...

_She was crying..._

"N-niichan...Mai-san...K-kaasan..!" she choked, lowering her head. Cowering from the darkness. She grabbed at her ensnarements, ready to tear off the wretched _bandages_...and that's when she saw him standing before her...

"Niichan..." she sobbed. The blonde only grinned to her. He seemed unreal, a faerie glow of light, an appirition...

"Shizuka-chan," he replied, oblivious to her tears, her _fear..._ "Just wait! You're going to take off your bandages and see me dueling...I'll cream the guy, just for you!"

"Niichan..." She could only smile to him.

And then he was gone, and she was standing again, shoulder-to-shoulder among a group. She could feel the burning tensity among them, feel their anticipation...

_And she could _feel _her brother's _fear...

Was Katsuya losing the duel...?! Was he overwhelmed...? Was he...

_Was he deathly scared, just like Shizuka in this darkness...?!_

"Niichan!!!" _He needs me..._

Her hands reached for the bandages, ripping them away in blinded instinct, like a frightened animal. She heard the voices around her, comforting, reassuring, but all the same, tense and scared on their own...

_It was a nightmare, surrounded by this fear..._

"Come on, Jou! You can win!"

"You can do it, Jonouchi!"

"Don't back down..."

_Niichan!! Don't be scared...be brave, like you always are....I'll help you be brave! I'm here to watch you win..._

The bandages fell away, and she could see a faint light peeking through the broken threads...

_You're going to win...you told me so! Don't be afraid...because you were never afraid... You taught me not to be scared...Niichan..._

She took one last, final tug at the bandages, finally freeing her vision...

"Niichan...!"

There was no duel arena, no crowd standing a breath away from her, no monsters... only the moonlight, and woman standing before her, facing away, caught in its beautiful glow...

_An angel..._

"Niichan..." She stood. "Niichan! I'll..."

_I'll watch you...I'll cheer for you...I'll pray for you..._

_I'll be there for you like you've always been there for me..._

Shizuka felt her heavy eyes open, and she squinted on instinct when a blinding light filled her eyesight. "Mhhn..." she groaned, stretching her limbs, and sitting up slowly. She warily gazed around the room.

_Yume desu. _(1)

She could still feel that chilling fear, not her own...

_But Katsuya's..._

Shizuka pulled her legs tightly to her chest. "Niichan...Gomen ne..."

The grinning blonde boy rose in her mind.

_She betrayed him. She hadn't been there....and Katsuya had endured a terrible fear...a terrible feeling of hopelessness..._

Guilt flooded Shizuka's heart.

_"Shizuka-chan...Just wait! You're going to take off your bandages and see me dueling...I'll cream the guy, just for you!"_

"N...nii...chan..." she choked, pearly tears trailing down her fair, flushed cheeks. "Gomen...ne..."

_Shizuka had ruined everything._

She was supposed to be there, like she dreamed, standing among Katsuya's crowd of friends, cheering him on...even when he was ready to quit, ready to give in... _because she, like the rest, believed in him and knew he could do anything..._

And then Mai... she would have seen Mai dueling as well. She could have seen Mai defending her pride and reputation, like she said she would, in her duel... but Shizuka ruined it...

_She ruined it all..._

She had given Mai the impression that she was upset...and Mai had been kind enough to take her out...but she had selfishly kept her there, not insisting on heading back...and while Katsuya dueled, without their support, Mai and Shizuka had run to the balloon, only to find it wasn't there...

No amount of apologies would ever clear up this mess..._that Shizuka herself had created..._

And that hurt the most.

"Sou...ka... I'm at Mai-san's house,"(2) Shizuka finally murmured, when she glanced about the unfamiliar room, drying her abundant flow of tears. With a final sniffle, and a glance out the window, she pulled herself up.

Shizuka trotted down the stairs, awkwardly. "Mai-san..." she called lightly. "Ah!" she breathed, approaching a screen door with a tell-tale light behind it, placing a hand at its gentle frame to slide it open. "Mai--"

She had barely even slid it open when she froze. One blue eye gazed in on her hostess...

_Mai-san was a wreck...._

The blonde woman was hanging over her small table almost lifelessly, curly blonde hair duller than usual, spilling messily into her face. Her features were hidden by such, but Shizuka...

_Shizuka felt it...she saw the pained expression so easily...._

Shizuka felt a knot in her well up. She shut the door quickly, falling down to her knees rather loudly. She felt Mai's pain...

Mai was not one to cry, but..._inside she must have been screaming..._

_This is...all my fault... Mai-san left the Finals to take _me _out...and because of that she missed it..._

She could still hear the cry piercing the darkness that had been her blindness...

_"No....NO!!!!"_

Her voice had been pure agony from being too late...._and it was all Shizuka's fault...._

_Why...why did I let this happen...?_ She could not comprehend anymore...it was all too overwhelming...

_Too damn much..._

She felt light footsteps gracing their way over to the screen. Mai was approaching her, breaking the wall between them that Shizuka had created...opening the screen to face Shizuka...

_...and Shizuka couldn't stand it._ How could someone like Mai, whose life had been the Battle City Tournament, just face the one who had ruined it for her? How could she speak to her?

_How could she even stand to look at her??_

Shizuka could see the world around her anymore. She felt the soft light wash over her being, felt Mai's shadow fall across her, heard the woman step in front of her. She heard her soft intake of breath, and through striking blue eyes saw her standing there. But Shizuka was blinded...

_Blinded by her guilt..._

She didn't want to face anyone. She didn't want to face Mai, she didn't want to face Jou. She didn't want to face the world.

"Shizuka-san..." Mai said quickly, breaking their solemn silence. She had composed herself as much as was possible, but her metallic violet eyes...

_Still so broken..._

Shizuka could not hear her. She refused to hear her. "Gomen nasai, Mai-san..." She bent down completely, kneeling to the blonde woman. _As if it could console the woman in some unknown way..._

_I hate myself for hurting you so much, Mai-san...._

"Shizuka-san," Mai repeated. She grinned lightly, leaning down to Shizuka's level. "Really! It's nothing. Don't..."

Shizuka met her gaze.

"Don't blame yourself, Shizuka-san..." the blonde woman finished.

_I can't stop, Mai-san..._

"Gomen..." Shizuka repeated, lost in Mai's gaze. Because she could feel it, could _see_ it in Mai's face...

"Shizuka," Mai repeated, more firmly. "Dont. Worry! I'm fine...there are other tournaments. Everything will be okay."

"Mai...san...." Shizuka hated it all..._hated being forgiven for something she couldn't forgive herself for..._

"Really...Shizuka-san..." Mai pulled the younger girl into an embrace, reassuring her. Comforting her....

And Shizuka could only cry.

_Mai-san...how can you just forgive me...?_

It hurt...but she felt so much better, to know Mai could not hate her...._even though..._

The image of Mai slumped over the table, blonde curls hiding her face and pale arms wrapped around her shoulders as though she were trying to cradle herself, trying to lift her troubles off her...

_Mai still hurt inside..._

"C'mon...Shizuka-san. It'll be a few days until the tournament's over and Jou comes back. Let's have some breakfast for now," Mai finally said, pulling away from Shizuka, to smile and comfort her.

To have Shizuka smile back, with pearly tears shining in her blue eyes.

"Hai...!"

_x-x-x-x-xThree days later....x-x-x-x-x-x-x_

It was in the dewy hours of the morning when a teenage blonde boy was seen tromping down the street, panting as he rushed on and cursing incomprehensibly to himself. He had a jacket half-pulled on, with one arm half stretched and struggling to push itself entirely through one sleeve, while the rest of the jean jacket waved senselessly behind him, and a glare of pure murder fixed on the clothing.

"Kuso!" Jou cussed, ready to throw down and possibly burn the jacket. It was one thing to look his usual mess, but, when he had run several blocks already, and to look so stupid STILL...

_Especially when he was going to Mai's house, of all places...!_

He finally threw down the article of clothing, stepping on it fiercely and grinding his foot into the fabric. One word was heard clearly:

"SUFFER!!!" Followed by maniacal laughter.

After he felt satisfied, he trudged on over the rather modest house, straightening his clothes and knocking finally.

_Silence..._

"Mai!" Jou called. Was she sleeping still? At this late hour? He knocked even louder. "Mai!"

No response.

"MAI!!" Jou called. With a final, nearly door-breaking knock, a bored Mai slid the door open slowly, glancing almost blankly out at her visitor. She said nothing, leaving a slightly annoyed Jou to grin next-to-cheerfully and greet her.

"Ah, Mai-chan!"

The door slid shut at that.

"OI!" Jou yelled, grabbing the door and sliding it open as loudly and strengthfully as he could. Mai stood there, disgusted almost. "What the hell was that about, Mai?? Is that any way to treat a _guest_?!?!"

_"Never call me Mai-chan..."_ she whispered, eyes narrowing. It implied easily she was mere inches away from beating the life out of Jou. He must've caught on, because his angered expression faded rather quickly, and he stood, scratching his blonde hair nervously.

"Etou....(3) I came to pick up Shizuka-chan! I figured she was here, she didn't go back to her hotel room with Okaasan..."

"Ahh. She should be down in a moment, she was just preoccupied upstairs. So, who won the tournament?" Mai asked, rather quickly.

"Yugi," (4) Jou replied quickly, sweating lightly at the turn of questioning.

"And what place did you come in?" Mai asked this with an amused expression.

"Ano...well, I didn't win...so...it's not like it's important, and--"

"Ha!" Mai pointed a slender finger to her blonde friend, laughing heartily. "You came in dead last, didn't you??"

"I DID _NOT!!"_ Jou's face flushed in pure anger. Mai only laughed even harder.

"Gomen, gomen..." she finally sputtered, face still alit with energy and chuckles still spilling out her lips at every chance.

Jou didn't do too well at squashing his blush. "I admit it. I didn't do as good as I did at Duelist Kingdom."

"Aah!" Mai interrupted. "Shizuka's taking forever. Just a moment, I'll get her..." She began to walk away, graceful hair swaying behind her.

"Demo....Mai..."

She wheeled around at that.

_His voice had become so painful..._

"Jou...?"

His head had hung itself, dirty blonde hair shadowing his fair face. His fists had found themselves clenching in a bubbling anger, one he was trying to squash..._or perhaps frustration..._

"How come...how come Shizuka wasn't there...? How come..." He lifted his head slowly to face her, brown eyes and face pained... "Mai..._ how come _you _weren't there...?"_

The words, filtering over Mai, stung every bit of her. It was painful just hearing him like that...

_It was painful thinking of the pain that caused him to be so sad..._

"Jou..." she began. "You were... you were scared, weren't you...?"

Jou could not break his gaze from the woman that was now bowing her head, hiding her _own_ face from him. "A...aa..."

"Jou..."

"Yugi had been right about Ishtar Malik...he was dangerous. He was...he was fucking psycho...! We all could've died...and when I was dueling, when I needed you and Shizuka-chan most...

_"You weren't there..."_

Mai looked up, confidently. "Jou...gomen."

Jou remained silent, gazing at her as though some explanation, some _reason_ for all his pain could result from it.

Mai bowed to him lightly. "That's...all I can say to you for it." And she walked away to get Shizuka.

Jou's blonde strands of hair fell forward, shielding his eyes from the world. A grimace formed itself noticeably on his lips. He... hated it all. He hated what he, and his friends, had gone through in the Finals. He hated how when he most needed support from Mai and Shizuka, they hadn't been there. He hated it...but the fact was...

_"Jou...gomen. That's...all I can say to you for it."_

_Those simple words made him forgive her instantly..._

He couldn't not forgive them. Cos...no pain even touched that of not being able to forgive her...

_...both her AND Shizuka..._

"Niichan!" came an excited, soft voice. Jou automatically looked up, only to grin and see his beautiful little sister gazing intently and cheerfully at him...

_...gazing at him...blue eyes free from their bandages..._

He could only grin, and hide it all.

"Shizuka-chan!" he embraced her immediately, keeping his eyes away from Mai, as though their conversation hadn't happened. _As though he could hide himself from it._ "It's great to see you again!"

"Niichan...genki desu ka? (5) Did the tournament go well?" she replied softly.

"Hai!" He quickly found a stern look, as though to scold his sister. "Shizuka-chan! Why did you come here, instead of go back to Okaasan's hotel room? She was worried sick for you..."

"H...hai...gomen, Niichan..." she sweat-dropped slightly at this, placing a hand behind her head nervously.

Jou sighed. "Aa...well, come on! You should see her, so she knows you're all right. Let's go, Shizuka-chan!"

"Hai!" Shizuka turned quickly to Mai, bowing respectfully. "Doumo arigatou gozaimasu, Mai-san...you were very kind to let me stay here so long..."

Mai waved a hand, dismissing it, almost. "It was nothing...feel free to come again anytime, Shizuka."

"Hai!" Shizuka smiled brilliantly. Mai opened the door, beckoning them outside, before she froze, staring out there.

"Etou..Mai?" Jou asked nervously.

"Jou...is that your jacket out there in my driveway?" she asked.

A vein throbbed dangerously on Jou's forehead at that.

"DAMMIT!!"

Shizuka walked alongside Jou down the slightly chilly streets, face a profound look as she stared at her brother's back. He walked ahead of her, face firmly ahead.

_And all was silent._

_Niichan...you're angry with me...aren't you? I betrayed you, I left you to be scared through the Finals...and I know it...Mai forgave me so easily, and I know you will too...but deep down..._

_I know you're both still hurt from my actions..._

It burned at her, sucking up courage to speak to Katsuya, then backing down out of fear. She didn't want him to be angry...because Katsuya was never angry, he was always carefree...

_She loved him that way..._

"N...niichan..." She wanted to pour it all out, to apologize incessantly...it's all she could do...though it could never heal him...

"You took off your bandages," was his simple reply.

_But it hit Shizuka like cold snow in the face._ Katsuya knew...

...and he was angry...

"Hai...gomen ne, Niichan... I was supposed to see you winning, Katsuya...I promised myself I would...and I betrayed you..." Her voice was cracking, and her eyes watering. It was so painful... "I ... know you were scared... I know you were in pain, Niichan...because...I felt it. When I was trying to sleep at night, I felt your fear...your pain...you're my big brother, Katsuya, and what you endured...I endured."

Jou did not look at her still.

"I was blinded...and crawling across the ground, trying to catch up with Mai-san...I was scared. I was selfish, the only way I knew to find my way around was to take the bandages off...and it hurt me. It hurt me to take them off, and not see you Niichan, just as much as it hurts you to know that. I can only apologize, Niichan...that's all. I can't heal the damage I've done to you, or Mai-san...I can only apologize with all my might, and hope that you can somehow forgive me...because...I really am sorry..."

"Shizuka....I know."

Shizuka's head snapped up to face her brother. "Niichan...?"

"I'm glad you can see again...and that's all that matters...even though I'm sad that you couldn't see me dueling, Shizuka-chan..." He turned around softly, facing her with a soft grin...

_...and tears staining his cheeks..._

"Niichan...!" Shizuka choked. Katsuya only grasped her hand, pulling her forward. He only grinned, even though his pain was pouring from him, drifting down his face as silvery tears...

_He was...forgiving her..._

"Niichan..." Shizuka began. She couldn't bear it...she had done so much wrong, and she was forgiven so easily...

_Katsuya and Mai were so kind..._

"Niichan...arigatou..."

That was all she could say, before she embraced his arm, burying her face into his clothing fabric, into his scent.

_Arigatou gozaimasu... Niichan..Mai-san..._

To be continued.

* * *

1) Yume desu -- A dream, or, it was a dream.

2) Sou ka -- I see. It can also be said as simply, "Sou".

3) Etou -- Basically the same as "Ano". They both mean "Um.." or "Uh..".

4) I know it's not a japanese term, so sue me. I'm not sure if Yugi won the tournament or not, I just made him win in this, cos I love him that much. ::huggles Yugi::

5) Genki desu ka -- "How are you?" Literally meaning, "Are you well?"

**A/N: **I don't like this chapter much, and I took so long to write it. Argh...! Shizuka's a little off what I planned for her character in this story for the entire chapter. Not to mention that part where Jou was screaming "SUFFER!!" was a little weird... Ah, whatever. What with that little happy ending to Shizuka's depression in this chapter, it feels like I've ended the story. Agh! ::hits herself:: I had planned so much more for this chapter, but it just ended up so much longer than I planned. ::sighs:: I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review. (By the way, am I making Shizuka-chan too much like Honda Tohru from Fruits Basket?? She's acting a lot like her...)

**Review Corner: **

**Kohako** -- I'm really sorry but...there is just no room in my storyline for SetoJou!! TTTT As much as I would like to, I just can't. It doesn't fit with what I have to write. You will see as the story progresses why, okay? Again, sorry....

_"How did Malik talk when Rishid fought?"_ -- Ack! I just looked back at the second chapter, and I noticed I had Seto say, "the first duel is between Jou and Rishid", when I meant Malik. I'm sorry. There was this part in the anime where Rishid fought Jou, disguised as Malik. That's what I meant...I'll fix it as soon as I can...

_"And aren't they supposed to be on the blimp-something, 60/600 feet in the air?" _-- Eh? Blimp something? As far as I knew, they were on a hot-air balloon, a few thousand feet in the air, with a duel arena, and rooms aboard. Now you've confused me. (PS-- why are you glaring at a Mai plushie? Do you bash her???).

**Artemis Moonclaw** - Oh, daijoubu, daijoubu! ::sweatdrop:: I just couldn't tell if you were sarcastic or not. I have a hard time figuring that out... and thanks! I think, out of all I've planned for the story, the idea of that chapter is my favorite. It seems...almost majestic, to me. But I'm weird...::hits self::

**Tamara Raymond **-- Ah, thanks for all the comments and criticism! I really appreciate it. I'm glad that someone finally noticed what I'm trying to do with Shizuka's character! Shizuka and Mai are the only girls I like from Yuugiou, and though Mai's, and even other girls' characters are delved into, Shizuka is left behind. She plays the 'little sister' act strongly in the anime and manga, and nothing more. When I wrote this story, I wanted to base it off Shizuka's character, and show her growing up in a way. Not mentally, as you said, she doesn't _think_ like a child, but for the world to see her grown-up, to see her mature. Because I feel there is more to Shizuka's character than even Takahashi may show.

Yes, I know I made a lot of errors... but I guess I had sort of a reason for them. Mai does spend a lot of time preparing her deck, and that sort of thing. Personality-wise, I think she's the type of person who may be slightly insecure on the inside, but has made herself so emotionally strong that weaker people who are hurt by things said, or done, like with what Seto said to Shizuka about being a child. So, I think Mai took Shizuka out, simply out of annoyance. She saw Shizuka moping beside her, and figured that, like a child, she was disappointed about Jou not taking her out himself. Thus, she pulled her out to the car. I didn't plan Mai starting to have feelings there, but if she was, then, I think she would be ignoring them like you said.

You're right about Shizuka; She doesn't feel secure away from Jou. I should have incorperated that into my story, but I guess I forgot...::sweatdrops:: I think Mai grabbed Shizuka and pulled her away much too quickly for her to tell Jou, or convince him to come along. She was also pretty distraught trying to convince Mai that she was fine, and didn't need to go anywhere.

I'm sorry if I'm arguing, I guess I just felt the need to explain what I meant through these chapters. Again, thanks for the long review! It's really helped me, because now I have some pointers on how to make this more IC! Arigatou!!


	5. flying

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Yuugiou. I think if I owned it, the series would be a lot different....hey, after all, people who have seen my YGO fanart say I draw just like Takahashi...::evil grin::

**A/N: **Ahh...thanks for all the reviews, everyone! I feel so loved...this kind of fanfic is a first for me, and I feel great that I'm getting all sorts of wonderful feedback.

When I first decided to write this fic, I simply told myself that it would be a Mai x Shizuka fic, and that Shizuka would grow up somehow during it. I doubt I would have made it to the fifth chapter. But now I've gotten sucked into writing a fanfic so absorbed in developing Shizuka's character...it is only a fanfic, but it's _exausting..._ and like I have said before, Shizuka-chan is turning into Honda Tohru-kun of Fruits Basket... Agh, I'm starting to talk like some revered manga-ka. Geez! I'm only writing a fanfic, it's no big deal....not like anyone cares about MY thoughts on the fic anyway...

**Something I learned from a Seto x Shizuka fic that was VERY true to the Yuugiou subs -- Shizuka's first name is actually Kawai. Shizuka, the name, is actually her and her mother's surname. I'll go back and the the chapters where I made mistakes on her name as soon as I can. So, when I say "Shizuka-san", I mean Shizuka's mom. And she, of course, will call Shizuka "Kawai". Enjoy.**

* * *

Her thumb flicked down on the lighter, and Shizuka-san watched, entranced almost, as the cigarette poked through her thin, colorless lips alit. She took a drag almost desperately, eyes closing deeply, as though she missed the dark pleasure of smoking.

It had been three days. _Three long, silent, doubt and worry-filled days_. Shizuka-san almost couldn't take it, couldn't breathe another damn day of this...another damn day of wondering if the young brunette girl was okay, if she was in danger...in _pain..._but...Kawai was so...unpredictable like that. One moment, she was her baby girl, her precious child...soon to be rid of her coming blindness, to be _saved_ from it... the next she was, for instance, locking herself in the hospital room, refusing her surgery until her brother came. Shizuka-san sometimes couldn't handle the girl. Kawai was like a pin, balancing itself steadily on its head, undisturbed...until the slightest movement, the slightest disturbance rocked her and knocked her over suddenly, knocked her into her unstable thoughts, actions.

She remembered all too well the hours before Kawai's surgery. It had been, what, a week before? Kawai had locked the door, and there Shizuka-san was again, standing away from the door, smoking away as though it would make it all better, as if each musty, smoky breath she released would convince her daughter to be rational and open the door for her doctors. It wasn't at all like that, they were waiting, waiting for Katsuya-san, who wouldn't come until the later hours of the night...

She hated herself for thinking it, but it seemed that Katsuya only seemd to be the disturbances for Kawai. The blonde boy, though Kawai was convinced was what kept her stable, only knocked her over each time...and Shizuka-san couldn't stand it...all she could do was stand back, and let him play big brother...

_It made Kawai so happy..._

Shizuka-san had smiled, waved good-bye when Katsuya and his friend had come to take Kawai to the Battle City finals. Shizuka-san allowed herself to trust this unstable pin to its disturbance, allowed Kawai to stay with her older brother.

_She allowed what she feared most for Kawai to take her away..._

Kawai would...only be gone for a few days. No longer...Shizuka-san trusted Katsuya. _She trusted him more than she ever had allowed herself to. _

_No brother would disregard his sister...forget her..._

_Lose her..._

Shizuka-san worried...but all mothers did, right? So she shook it off. Kawai would be fine...she would return, smiling, trotting behind Katsuya... _And Katsuya..._ he was a good boy. She knew that in her heart.

_Even if he was raised by that bastard, Jonouchi...._

She trusted Kawai to him... trusted her treasure to Katsuya ...But then she answered the phone that night...

"Okaasan! Okaa...san..."

_Katsuya could barely speak...he was in hysterics..._

"Okaasan...gomen ne...for calling so late...demo...

_"Sh-Shizuka-chan's gone!!"_

Kawai...gone...?

_It had suddenly become hard to breathe...._

"N-nani you?? You lost her?! ...Katsuya-san...!! _You lost my baby...!!"_

"I know..." Katsuya was crying... "I turned to her....and she...she and Mai-chan..._they were gone...."_

She and...Mai... gone...

Shizuka-san remembered all too well the images that flooded her mind. She saw the beautiful blonde woman entering the hospital room beside Katsuya, she saw her smiling and shaking Kawai's hand. She seemed friendly, but on a different level than everyone else...out of it...bored with what was around her...

She hated to think it...she tried not to..._forced _herself not to...but the idea, all the same, flooded her mind and senses, allowing no other registered thoughts...Kujaku Mai, the woman she had seen with Katsuya at the hospital...

...what if...what if it was because of her that Kawai was gone?! What if she had taken her off...?!

_What if Kawai was in danger?!_

Shizuka-san sighed deeply, exhaling thin wisps of smoke, eyes staring almost expressionlessly into the clouded air.

She had long since given up her own relentless crying. It had been three days, three days of endless worrying, and it didn't stop now...but everything around her had seemed to stop. Her eyes were droopy and weary from nights nearly spent sitting up and waiting for Kawai to call, enter the room, _something..._ Her breath came slow and ragged to her, her hair was a full net of messy grease. She didn't want to move, she didn't want to do anything. She just wanted to wait, as if it was all she had the strength to do.

_How could anyone do anything when their only child could be in danger...?_

Her eyes closed wearily, trembling almost over her dark pools for eyes. When she could muster the strength to, they opened again, glancing around the pale, darkened, silent room.

It was...like a constant state of fear for her. A rare, calm moment would wash over her, and for a minute, she could pretend it was all right....that nothing was wrong, and she would breathe freely again...then the calamity would strike her again. Her heart would beat erratically in her chest, and worry would consume her. _She hated it._

But....she would endure it. She was scared...she just wanted Kawai back...

_Because Kawai would heal everything...just knowing she was safe..._

Shizuka-san was weak. She couldn't move, couldn't spend a moment even _to walk somewhere_ in this state of fear. Katsuya had set out, as worried as she was, though brave enough to look for his little sister, while his mother sat at home, a perfect wreck. But that was okay...because she trusted Katsuya...he would get her back....

_Even if he was the one to lose her...._

"Okaasan!"

Shizuka-san couldn't have jumped higher at that. The voice, muffled behind the hotel room door, was followed by thick knocking and a second "Okaasan!"

_Katsuya...?_ Her heart was dancing in her chest, beating its life away in fear of what wait with Katsuya...

"H...hai...!" she replied, lips heavy and awkward. She stood slowly, feeling her heartbeat drum steadily in her ears, overpowering any other sound that dared make its way to her ears...each nerve she possessed was on fire...and she could only register one thought...

_Please...Kami-sama....Let Kawai be there when I open this door...!_

Aged hands took firm, though trembling hold of the cold handle, and turned lightly, pulling the barrier between her and the unforgiving outside open...

Shizuka-san found herself staring at a cheery, smiling Katsuya. His hands, light, and tanned from days gone past in Duelist Kingdom, were clamped down on the shoulders of a young brunette girl, standing in front of him...

"K-Kawai...?!" Shizuka-san gasped, happiness and relief _bursting_ within her, washing over her.

"Hai!" Jou replied, pushing his younger sister gently into their mother's arms.

"Kawai..." She embraced her almost desperately, eyes closing in a bliss untouched for days now, before she pulled away, hands on her precious daughter's cheeks, mussing her brunette hair in hopes of finding some bruise, some mark, some utter evidence that she had been _hurt..._ "Daijoubu? Did this Kujaku-san do anything to you...?"

"Iie!" Kawai only smiled cheerfully to her mother, face full of pure bliss, and she remained oblivious to her mother's worry. "Mai-san was very kind! She took care of me for the time I was there!"

Shizuka-san sighed, shoulders lifting as though a great weight had removed itself from her. "Thank god..." she murmured, again pulling Kawai into her arms briefly. "What were you thinking, running off from your brother?" she asked, when she pulled away.

"Ah...sumimasen!"(1) Kawai bowed to her mother, lovely brunette hair spilling across her back, shoulders and into her face. "Mai-san was kind enough to take me out into the city...and I was selfish, and she ended up missing the Finals as well because of me..." Her eyes closed gingerly, expecting anger from her mother. A sigh was all that escaped her.

"Ah...Kawai..."

Jou stared serenely at the floor, smiling gently, _painfully _almost, as he listened to the turn the conversation was taking.

"Well...Kawai. Come on..." Shizuka-san stood, fingers raking through her strands of graying blonde hair. "We're packing up today, and heading home as soon as we can."

"Huh?" Kawai lifted her head, wide blue eyes taking in the sight of the older woman.

"_We're heading home,_" she repeated.

"Ano...K-Kaasan...onegaishimasu(2), let me stay with Niichan a while longer..."

"Ehh...?!" Her mother replied with surprise sopping the words.

Jou's head snapped up. "Sh..Shizuka-chan? You're staying a while longer?"

"Gomen ne..." She turned to him, fair face weighed with guilt. "Niichan..."

"Iie, daijoubu, Shizuka-chan!" he forced a smile upon his face, waving a hand nonchalantly.

"Kawai!" Her mother snapped, the beginnings of anger flushing in her aging cheeks. "Don't be selfish! We need to go home. You'll miss school..."

_This place isn't good for you to be in...your brother isn't someone you should hang around..._

"Ah, really, Okaasan..." Jou cut in, smiling freely. "I don't mind...besides, because of this whole mess, Shizuka-chan and I missed out on hanging out! Heh..."

_Katsuya-san..._

Shizuka-san sighed.

"Aa...fine..." she finally agreed.

_She gave into what she feared for her baby..._

Shizuka breathed a sigh of relief, smiling gently to herself as she whispered, "Doumo arigatou gozaimasu..." She stood, bowing her head slightly, before turning to her brother and closing in on the door.

"Ah, Katsuya-san!" Shizuka-san added quickly, raising a hand and beckoning him over. Shizuka watched her mother, misunderstanding. "Kawai, you go on out. And close the door behind you."

"Hai..." Shizuka paced out, doing as told. She leaned lightly against the door, sighing. She wasn't inside, but she heard...

_"Katsuya-san!!"_

"Hai, Okaasan...?" Jou could tell what was coming; Shizuka could tell this by his tone.

"Why did you do that?! Getting her hopes up... Katsuya-san, she needs to go back home sometime, she can't stay here forever..."

"Hai, wagata...(3)"

_"Katsuya-san, listen to me!! _I mean this, she is to come back here to the hotel _each and every night, you understand?_ I don't want her to go back to your apartment, or get _anywhere near your father!!!"_

Shizuka looked away, into the depths of the wall before her, embarassed almost. _Niichan..._ she sighed mentally.

He was taking the abuse for her...

"I mean it, Katsuya-san! My daughter will NOT get near him!"

"Wagata. I promise, Okaasan." Shizuka could almost imagine the boy, though bruised by his mother's words, smiling as though everything was right...

_Like he could smile through any pain..._

Shizuka lifted herself slowly off the door, turning to stare at it's dull gray tone before it slid open to reveal her blonde brother, smiling away like she had imagined.

_And she ached for him..._

His features could only soften as he saw hers. A calloused hand reached for hers, pulling her away. They walked in silence down the hall, throughout the hotel and to the exit. When they reached the noisy outside, he spoke.

"You heard it all, right?"

"Hai..." she replied, shamefully.

He chuckled softly. "Heh! Daijoubu. Shizuka-chan, Okaasan's only looking out for you. Don't look so painfully at me like that..."

She followed suite in soft laughter. "Gomen ne, Niichan...! It's just..."

_Just that I feel so sorry...you've endured so _much _for me..._

_You and Mai-san both..._

"Just...what?" Jou gazed cheerfully back at his sister, who only grinned and shrugged it off.

"Nothing."

"Come on, Shizuka-chan!!" he cried out into the air suddenly, like an excited young boy, squeezing her hand only tighter and sprinting through the street, arousing stares from fellow pedestrians. Shizuka only giggled lightly, following him in his childish run, _his grasp of freedom._..

She grinned, felt her brunette hair fly behind her, and followed him.

_They were flying..._

She felt like a bubble, light, bouncy, untouched by the troubles of the world. She only floated higher and higher. Even when the primary source of her guilt, namely the headstrong Mai, pulled up in her blue convertable, she could only smile brilliantly to the woman whom she had hurt so much. Mai cocked her head to one side, beckoning them in, and they did so.

_Flying..._

Shizuka was free. She no longer saw only darkness; she saw light. She saw everything. She didn't need Jou to pull open the car door for her, she did it on her own. When Mai revved the engine and pulled out onto the main road, she didn't just feel it, she s_aw_ it. She had to squint her eyes as the wind blew relentlessly into her face, had to turn her head about to see the buildings and the shops and even simple things, like a girl playing hopscotch on the sidewalk. She took everything in, breathed it in like her first, awakening breath, and felt it rejuvinate her, bring her to life. She was no longer walking simply, trudging on the sidewalk like the rest of the world, she was glowing, she was beyond that. She was growing wings, beautiful, feathery, angelic wings...

_And she was flying..._

"Ne, where do you want to go, Jou?" she heard the elegant voice of Mai speak.

"Mm..." Jou shrugged, blonde hair blowing about his tanned face. "I dunno. Let's just drive, Mai. Let's all just hang out!" He grinned to her carelessly.

"And make me waste gasoline?" she sneered, though she only smiled back. Shizuka snorted at this, cupping her mouth into her hand to suppress the noise. Mai leaned back, smiling beautifully to the young brunette.

Shizuka froze at this. It was only a second's worth of a friendly gesture, and Mai had turned back to the wheel, but Shizuka remained staring off into the air, into the flowing blonde of Mai's hair behind her.

It hit her like a calamity. Instead of only flying higher when she saw her female friend grin, it only dragged her down, wounded her newly grown wings.

_Was Mai-san really smiling out of happiness?_

It struck her again -- the image of the blonde woman hanging over her table that very morning, hair mussed and spilling over her delicate features, hand raked through such locks..._and such anger and sadness emanating so easily from her..._

Jou and Mai-san had forgiven her so easily -- and she had accepted that. Shizuka wanted no more of the matter, wanted to forgive herself as well, and be done. But something about Mai -- even though Shizuka knew she had hurt both Katsuya AND Mai -- made her think differently, like she still had so much to do about it. She had an urge inside her, a childish one, she felt, that she wanted to be stronger, reach out to the blonde woman, and take the trembling hand she offered.

_She wanted to reach out and save her..._

"Oi, oi!" Katsuya cried out suddenly, smacking his palms together. "I have an idea, Mai! Let's go to the KaibaLand arcade! Do you wanna go, Shizuka-chan?"

Shizuka's face brightened. "Hai! Please, Mai-san!!" she asked sweetly, leaning onto the seat of the older woman.

"Hai...hai..." she nodded boredly, earning twin grins from the siblings.

"Waii!"

Of course, it was only moments before Mai was kind enough to slam down on the brakes again, announcing their arrival. This time, Jou had learned to hold a death-grip on his seat for survival.

"We're here," Mai spoke calmly, opening her car door. Jou looked as though on the brink of insane anger.

_"Oi!! Kujaku Mai-chan, ne?"_

All three faces turned to the voice. Mai did especially quickly, however, metallic violet eyes flashing imminent death to the idiot who had dared add 'chan' after her name. Jou crawled out of the convertible, watching with a spark of interest...and another emotion Shizuka both noticed and could not decipher.

_...possessiveness??_

Mai death-glared into the approaching face of a teenage, raven-haired boy approaching with a smug grin on his pale features. "It's you right?" he continued, arching a finger in her direction. "I'm right, aren't I? Kujaku Mai-chan..."

"_Don't call me Mai-chan..." _Mai spoke murderously.

"I've heard about you," he spoke airily, paying her words and frightening tone of voice no mind. "You're s'posed to be a great duelist, ne? Ne? You made it all the way to the Duelist Kingdom semifinals..._and you just skipped out on the Battle City Finals, huh??"_

Mai's eyes twitched dangerously. Shizuka felt a fresh surge of guilt flow through her, like a hand ripping across her exposed skin and tearing at her barely healing scabs, leaving them to bleed afresh; to bleach her fair skin a sinful red. Mai would be ridiculed, wouldn't she...? No one knew...no one but Mai herself, Jou, and Shizuka...

_...it was all Shizuka's fault..._

The boy watched Mai's face battle it's rage, creating a pregnant pause between the group. Even Katsuya was beginning to look angered, though his face fell into surprise when all Mai replied was...

"Heh." A small chuckle to herself. The boy's face fell as well before her.

"N-nani?" he responded.

Mai looked up confidently, the murder in her eyes flowing evenly into hard revenge. "Are you questioning my ability...?" she added. "Yeah, I made it to the Duelist Kingdom semifinals. Yeah, I'm a great duelist. _Yeah, I skipped out on the Battle City Finals. _Is that all you're going to say? Cos, there's this duel arena inside KaibaLand..."

The boy watched in unspoken horror.

Mai's hand flicked dangerously toward her pocket, where her winning duel deck lie in predatory wait.

"...and I'm in a _crushing_ mood today," she finished.

The boy gulped nervously, before pulling out a deck to prove his own status. "Aa..." he croaked bravely, following the woman into the KaibaLand doors. Jou smirked, smacking a fist into his palm, ready for a good fight. Shizuka watched in pure awe.

_She had...wanted to protect this woman._

The two followed. Mai had lifted onto a dueling balcony, waiting for her opponent to rise himself. Her duel deck already was placed onto the board, ready to pull a vicious Harpy Lady into her control, ready to kick whomever's ass she wanted to.

Shizuka could not take her eyes off this woman.

The duel began and no sooner had Mai drawn six cards did she throw down the card to the bird-woman she relied on so much. Pink, round lips smirked, waiting for the boy to pull something extravagant. After all, she _had_ skipped out on the Battle City finals. She must be _so_ inferior now... Kaiba, Yugi, and Jou were too much for her, she needed a lesson taught...

She watched him summon a lowly Imp card, and only grinned more.

...or perhaps, _she_ would be teaching a lesson today...

Shizuka looked away in embarassment, almost.

_She had wanted to save this woman..._she had wanted to reach out and take a trembling hand from her.

Shizuka had fallen into childish thoughts once more. She hit herself mentally. Mai would sooner save _her_ than _be_ saved. Mai was strong...

And Shizuka was a weak little girl..._crying out to her...needing her..._

_Need..._ Shizuka tottered over the word, watching Mai duel. Her hair flowed angelically over her shoulders as she moved, eyes glittered when she watched the Harpy Lady Sisters summon, breathed a triumphant _growl_ almost as the boy before her shivered noticeably.

Shizuka could still see this same woman standing before her, blonde hair and fair skin alit beautifully by the pale moonlight...beautiful wings glowing..._the angel..._

Her _angel..._

Something inside Shizuka flared, and she shook it off as embarassment. She liked Mai, yes...she _admired _her. For a dirtied little girl waiting to grow up, to watch this strong angel fight, defend her honor was wonderful, regenerating. In a small part of her she aspired to _be_ Mai, all the same it was enough to know her, see her.

_Be near her..._

Whatever method she was using to fight off this surge within her was failing miserably. It pounded in her, declaring itself, making itself known. She wanted it to flow through her, blur her vision like a drug and heal her, hide her away from the world where she could see Mai and nothing else, but all the same she was rejecting it, refusing it.

_I-I don't like M-Mai-san...I _admire_ her, that's all..._

It felt sinful to even look at her, wrong. She felt entirely wrong. Mai was a being far off in the clouds; unreachable. She was an angel, glowing in the night sky, and Shizuka was just a human, trying to reach her but only falling further away. And this flaring, this _burning _within her...that was making her think she was _attracted_ to Mai, of all things...

It was only more childish.

Through hardship, though, Shizuka was able to snap back to her world as the boy cried out an unforgiving defeat, and Mai trotted up to Jou and Shizuka, grinning widely, and _sadistically_, almost.

"Way to go, Mai!" Jou cheered out, raising a hand. "That was awesome!"

"S-Sugoi desu..."(4) Shizuka stammered. She couldn't even _look _Mai in the eye. She felt disgusting, dirty. She wanted to hit herself right there.

In her mind she was running. Her breath was short, her energy slowly diminishing in this feeling, but she couldn't lose to fatigue. She was _wrong. _And she wanted to escape.

* * *

A long period of time later, she couldn't tell what measure, Shizuka found herself in the placid hours of the night, trotting behind her tall brother, their hands entwined. Everything surrendered itself to the sweet silence, the lingering glow of happiness in their faces.

Shizuka breathed in the crips, icy air, smiling. Her brunette hair rustled in her every movement, body swaying lightly as she strolled onward. Her heart was full.

"Arigatou gozaimasu...Niichan..." she murmured breathlessly into the night. Jonouchi glanced back, a serene smile pasted onto his lips.

"No prob!" he replied cheerfully. "I wanted to take you out before you left with Okaasan again. It's a gift from me."

Shizuka's lips curved into a lovely smile. Freedom overpowered her small body, and she broke free of her brother's grasp, twirling on her heels, feeling the icy air chill her skin, her hair gracefully follow her movement, arms dangling loosely at her sides. _Flying..._

Katsuya stopped to watch his sister, laughing lightly. "Shizuka-chan!" he called finally. "Come on, come on, we have to get you back home...!" His lips bubbled laughter. This lightened Shizuka only more.

"It was so fun, though, Niichan!" she pursued. "You were so funny, trying to play that 'Smash a Spider' game--"

"Don't you start picking on me now, too!" he whined, remembering the miserable failure.

"--I've never played so many games, Niichan. I liked the 'Dance Dance Revolution', especially."

"That's Anzu's favorite game, too," Jou noted to the younger girl.

"Hai! Mai-san was amazing, too, Niichan. That duel...I wish _I_ could do that..."

Katsuya fell silent there, face gazing off into the distance, into the faint twinkle of house lights and buildings. Shizuka hesitated slightly in her steps, confused.

"Niichan...what are you thinking about...?" she asked quietly.

"Nothing..."

"Iie! Please, Niichan, I'd like to know. Is something wrong?"

"No...just... _Mai is amazing..."_

Shizuka froze entirely there, halting, surrendering to the cold air that would swallow her easily. "Na...ni?"

_Niichan...what...?_

"I...think she is, at least..." he continued, stopping as well, staring wistfully off into the penetrating night sky, brown eyes focused on the tiny pinpricks that were stars in the sky. "I'm sure she doesn't think much of me, but..."

A chilly breeze found the two, rustling their clothes and pale hair. Everything was bubbling in Shizuka again, everything she had tried to suppress, all rising to the surface again...as well as a new feeling she couldn't place a finger on...

_A feeling to reject everything her brother was saying..._

"I really like her...Shizuka-chan..."

"Niichan...you...have a crush on Mai-san...?"

Jou grinned, in embarrassment. "Hai..."

Shizuka looked away, a blush spreading across her fair skin.

Katsuya took her hand again, a new expression placed on his face. "Gomen ne, Shizuka-chan! I guess...I just needed to say that, to someone. Come on, now, we need to get you back to the hotel."

"Mm..." she agreed next to silently.

_Falling..._

Shizuka felt torn apart. She refused to admire Mai-san in the way her brother did; It felt..._wrong..._ but something was taking ahold of her, this feeling was weighing her down.

_She was afraid..._

Everything had become complicated. To give in to this unwanted feeling was to face an angry Katsuya who loved the same woman, to run away was...

_...to fall, break her angelic wings..._

She hated this. She hated _changes..._ she wanted everything to stay the same, where she would've lived her life with her mother, occassionally seeing her brother, spending a few days in Tokyou. She would see her friends, work hard through Middle School, forget this all...

Or rather, better to never have known Mai-san in the first place.

Everything was breaking away into a confused picture, one she understood, but did all but that at the same time. She wanted to explore herself further, give in to this feeling. At the same time she wanted to run away and never have to feel it again. She wanted to be free. She wanted to know.

_She wanted to fly..._

Shizuka gulped nervously.

_I think...I'll...talk to Mai-san..._

To be continued.

* * *

1) Sumimasen -- Sorry, pardon me, forgive me.

2) onegaishimasu -- Though I guess it means "please", it also means, "I'm asking/begging you".

3) wagata -- "I understand" or "I know".

4) sugoi desu -- "It was amazing."

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry this took so long, a lot has been happening. It was a hard chapter to write as well.

Something about it though, is that it deals with something I've been going through while writing this. The thing is, I've gotten to liking someone whom I consider **just** a friend, and hoped I would never consider him anything more. I hated myself at first, because I felt disgusting for liking him rather than some other guy, but it's gotten to the point where I can't lie to myself about it. It's hard, to admit you like someone you shouldn't. That's...kind of where what Shizuka's feeling comes from.

I have something else to say. This may or may not happen while I'm writing this story, but most likely it will. See, there's a story on FictionPress (called Kuro Shouri, for the curious ones) that my friend and I are working on. Within one or two chapters, it will FINALLY be reaching the climax, and I promised him I'd write them. There may be quite a few chapters. This will slow down my work on this story, but I promise I'll try not to take so long. Just a warning ahead of time, so you guys don't yell at me for taking too long.

Please review!

**Review Corner: **

**Tamara Raymond -- **Ah, yes... I guess I'm just used to my parents thinking that 'justifying' is arguing....and thanks for all the praise! You're the only reviewer who told me how to make my fic better (through realistic terms... ::glances at Kohako::), and you're satisfied with my latest chapter. That just feels great.

I was afraid I overdid what Shizuka went through in that chapter. It made me think that I had only made her seem even MORE childish, rather than showing her growing up. Or rather, I thought I was just making her even more OOC. But I did okay...::gasps hungrily at the air:: That just means I must sacrifice yet another ten years of my life for the next chapter now....thanks for the review...

**Innamorta **-- Ah, don't worry! Criticism only helps me, so by all means, tell me what I've messed up. And thanks for help on Shizuka's name. I have learned from reliable sources (not only the Seto x Shizuka fic I mentioned above...) that Kawai is actually her first name. It's weird, but it fits I guess. Even though, from watching subbed anime, I've learned that Kawai means "frightening", "afraid", and things of that sort. I'm sorry that I'm using so much japanese, but I just feel like I need to. I read a great fic with Shizuka in it, that had a LOT of japanese. Though it may be dissmissed as fangirl japanese (which struck me as the over use of "kawaii" and "baka"), it gives it a realistic feel, and fleshes out a character better than their english translations, I feel. Again, thanks, though!

**Yami no Marik** -- Yes, this pairing is incredibly rare, even I haven't read anything on them. I just love the pairing to death...::sweat drops:: Mai x Anzu is pretty good... and that's great that you may write a Mai x Shizuka fic! I hope you do! This pairing is so great, I hope it becomes more popular, even if it never measures up to pairings like Mai x Anzu... There's not much to know about Shizuka, from what I've seen. She's Jou's little sister, his inspiration...Eh...::tries to think of something else:: Well, that's not the important part! She's a cute little character, and that's why she's great! Heheheh....

**elsiey **-- It is cute, isn't it!! ::grins widely:: Ah, don't worry, I won't abandon this fic, no matter how much I **want** to. This is a difficult fic to write, but where would I be if I gave up! ::thumps chest in defiance:: Thanks for the lovely review. I'll be sure to update, and finish the story, no matter how hard it gets to write!

**Dark Assailant -- **Wow...I forgot about that. Gomen nasai! The majority of the time, I am quite open-minded, and mature enough to just stay out of what I don't like, but sometimes I just can't. I'm really sorry about your friend's work, I'll be happy to delete my review and apologize to her. Please, feel free to flame me and tell me what a horrid bitch I am, because, it's very true. I have a problem with OC stories, because they usually end up as Mary Sues. And as for SakuSasu? It seems all I see for the pairing is self-insertion, crappy fluff, or whatnot, when I personally feel that it should be angst and nothing else. I can't stand it because of that. If I could find a fic where almost the entire story is angst, unrequited love, and with little to no fluff or sap, I think I might like it. Again, I'm sorry.

I'm glad, though, that you like my fic. It makes me feel bad to know that you came to get revenge for your friend, and ended up liking my work anyway. It makes me feel worse. And your opinions, as well as everyone else's, are very important. Again, I'm sorry about the flame. But still, thanks for the review. I'm glad at least you were mature...unlike myself... ::punishes herself::


	6. disgusted by you

**Disclaimer: **No...I don't own Yuugiou. Even after five years of drawing anime, I still don't have the artistic ability to own it. TTTT

**A/N: **Wow....I'm at the sixth chapter. ::breathes heavily:: I know, I know, it's not a big deal, you all have written much longer stories, right?? I have, as well, but...I don't usually make stories much longer than 4 or 5 chapters...kind of pathetic, huh? Not only that, but this is kind of an important chapter for me. Just because...I've been planning this chapter since I BEGAN this fic. Heh. I'm finally writing it. Wow. I feel great.

Nearly everyone reviewed telling me how complicated things are getting for Shizuka. Trust me, it only gets worse from here. Heh. ::sweatdrops::

This chapter is shorter than usual. Sorry, but I hope you'll still enjoy.

_Niichan..._

The word was something so familiar to Shizuka; something that tumbled off her lips happily at any moment. It symboled her happiness, her role model. _Someone she had adored since her days of childhood..._

The sun had barely risen into the sky when Shizuka awoke; She had readied herself, drowsiness still gripping her, controlling every lazy thought that wandered through her head. After a hurried breakfast, she walked out with a "Ja, Kaasan!" and a reluctant nod from the older woman. Crisp air dared fold itself around her; In response she crossed pale, thin arms across her chest. It took only a slight turn of her head, and there he was...

_Niichan..._

Jou's face lifted. "Shizuka-chan!!" he called, jogging over, a brilliant grin settled on his features. "Ohayou!!"

"O-ohayou gozaimasu, Niichan," she stuttered, a steady smile settled on his own. Her heart sounded erratically in her chest.

"Shizuka-chan," he repeated, panting lightly, slowing to stop next to her. "Ogenki desu ka?"

"Eh...I'm good...Niichan..." He was still Katsuya...still the same, grinning, brilliant in her eyes...but Shizuka couldn't look at him the same...It was like a dark shadow had found his face -- corrupting him into something unknown to her...

_"Mai is amazing...I...I really like her..."_

_And the feeling of confusion...betrayal, almost..._

_I...I have so much I wish to tell you, Niichan_, she murmured inwardly. Blue eyes gazed awkwardly toward the pavement beneath her, a seemingly pained expression contorting her usually cheerful face.

"Shizuka-chan?" Katsuya asked, slowly, grin fading in the littlest. "Daijoubu?"

"N-nii..chan..."

_I think I'm in love with the same person as you...Mai-san...I can't look at her the same without feeling this _flaring_ inside of me, I can't understand it, I want to but...Niichan...! You told me you liked her as well, Niichan...and it scares me that I could hurt you, by telling you. I hurt you once, I stole away when I was supposed to watch you duel, and take off my bandages for you and only you...Niichan, I...I...!_

"Shizuka...chan...?"

"Ah...! Iie! Niichan, I just wanted to wish you a good day at school." She smiled as she spoke, wiping away all evidence of the battling feelings within her as though wiping away a chalkboard blank. Her mask of childish indifference was her only weapon against this...

Jou pulled her slowly into his arms, earning from her a sincere, almost teary smile. "Hai! Ja ne Shizuka-chan!" With that he trotted off into the distance.

_Niichan...I...I..._

_I'm afaid of you..._

The sentence chilled her, just thinking it.

_Will you become angry if I tell you? Will I...will I hurt you again...? I'm so scared Niichan...whenever I was scared before, you were the one to save me, pull me from the darkness...Niichan, you were my hero...and now...you are what I fear, Niichan..._

She tottered uneasily across the sidewalk, shoulders slumped.

_It's...wrong, isn't it...? That is also why I fear you Niichan...you and Mai-san both about this matter. It's...wrong for a girl to love another woman....I fear you Niichan, because I know you will be hurt by the idea that I love the same woman you do...and I fear that you will be disgusted with me, because I am a girl and I am to love boys, not...not...Mai-san, of all people..._

_What will...Mai-san...think...? I know her as one person....someone so kind to me...someone who smiled so sincerely when her heart was breaking, when I was ruining everything for her, and still told me not to feel guilty...she's someone I admire, aspire to be...I watched her with awe, Niichan, I was amazed by her duel just yesterday...she is so kind to me, but so strong all the same...and she amazes me in every way..._

_Am I...being selfish? By coming to her, to tell her how I feel...? Am I trying to take away the one person who would give you happiness, Niichan...? _Fear gripped her. _I don't...I don't want to do that!! I don't want to take away what would make you happy...I ... I... _

_I really don't know anymore...I'm confused, Niichan... I want everything but I want to _give _everything to _you..._I feel like I am in love, but all the same I am scared, and I am disgusted with myself..._

_So disgusted..._

Her footsteps fell silent, and her gaze lifted upward to a modest house, one familiar to her...

"Mai...san..." she voiced uncertainly.

_Niichan...this...this is it._

Her stomach turned inside of her, signaling her nervousness. She had the urge to simply turn around, walk away. It was clutching her, daring her to walk forward, ruin everything for herself...

...and so she did. She trembled madly, but she stepped forward, and again, nearing the house steadily.

_I am scared....I want to turn around and run back home but I can't...I have to be courageous, be brave like Niichan always said. I will be scared, but brave all the same..._

Pale fingers clenched into a fist, knocking on the paper-screen door slowly. Footsteps sounded inside.

_This is it...this is really it..._

The door slid open, revealing the familiar blonde woman. Her metallic violet eyes widened in surprise in seeing the young girl. "Sh-Shizuka-san...?"

Shizuka bowed respectfully. "Hai...Sumimasen, Mai-san. I wanted to visit..."

"Ah, daijoubu, comeon in. Want some tea?" she asked boredly, gesturing the brunette inside.

"Yes, please..."

_I...I'm going to be brave...!_

* * *

"Ne, Shizuka-san," Mai began, setting a warm cup of green tea before Shizuka and herself as they sat down to the kohatsu (1), "What'd you come here for...?"

Shizuka's entire being seemed to flip on the inside at that, signaling nervousness throughout her. Her face lowered, flushed, allowing strands of long, elegant brunette hair to fall into her face and shield her from Mai. "A-ano, I just...j-just wanted to see you, M-Mai-san..."

"You saw me just yesterday," Mai replied rather skeptically. The hotness in Shizuka's cheeks worsened at this, and if it were possible, lowered her head even more, perhaps in unspoken shame.

"M-Mai-san....how are you...?"

"I'm fine, and you...?"

"I'm alright..." Shizuka gulped loudly, breathing erratic. "E-etou..." She lifted the warm cup to her lips, relishing the warmth that the tea sent throughout her. It calmed her lightly, enough to speak. "Mai-san...I...I'd like for you to give me advice on...something..."

"Mm?" she put down her own cup. "What?"

Shizuka's eyes glazed over, staring down at the kohatsu. She seemed almost emotionless as she spoke her next words:

"I think I'm in love with someone."

Mai froze, eyes falling across Shizuka -- the words hit her like some preposterous preposition, some impossibility spoken. "Nani...?" she asked, as though Shizuka was about to grin at Mai and utter words of a joke.

"Mai-san...I...I'm in love with...with..."

_You..._

She couldn't utter the word. She stumbled over each word, heart thumping in her chest so loudly that it rang in her ears, almost like it echoed throughout the house. "I...I'm in love with someone...I...I've really never felt this way before....it's so strange...so foreign to me..."

_Mai-san, I can't understand myself...not at all...I look in a mirror and I look dirtied, disgusting...but I don't feel that way...everything I feel in my heart, Mai-san, everything I feel...for you...it all feels..._

_...right..._

Mai snorted impatiently, looking out the window, lifting her cups to her lips briefly. "Nonsense. You're fourteen, right? You don't know what you feel."

"Yes, I do...!" Shizuka protested, head snapping up to face the blonde woman. Mai was looking away, face hidden, but...

_Her hand, clenched over the gray cup, had begun to shake in the slightest..._

_Mai-san..._Shizuka thought uncertainly. _Is she...is she getting angry...?_

"...How long...have you liked this person...?" Mai asked quietly, her tone unfamiliar to Shizuka's ears. Shizuka perked up at this, flushing, as though speaking embarassing words.

"Since yesterday..."

"You're not in love," Mai replied quickly. "I'll say it again...you're too young to understand any of that stuff. Just forget about all of it."

"Mai-san...!" Shizuka gasped. "Mai-san, you must have felt this way before...about somebody...! You have to understand...!"

_"No..." _Mai replied coldly, earning a noticeable, shocked flinch from Shizuka.

_Never...? _she wondered silently. _Mai-san...have you...do you have feelings...? _

"I don't fall in love..." she added, voice chillingly unfeeling. "I don't _need_ anyone. I can take care of myself, _work _for myself easily, without anyone's help. Love is.." she trailed off. "Love is some idiotic excuse for the people who can't..."

The young brunette girl felt a lump form in her throat, stinging at her, like the feel after a hard blow to the face. This...this person, whom she called Mai-san, whom she had admired, known as this kind person in every way to her, as a strong, beautiful _angel..._

This wasn't like her at all...it was darker, harsher..like the shadowy portion of a person's face, unknown, hidden from the world...but harsh and unforgiving, however kind they may be on the outside...and it scared Shizuka...

..._knowing this side to her angel..._

"I-iie, Mai-san, it's..." The woman she spoke of jerked her head to face Shizuka, eyes settled into a harsh glare. Shizuka trailed off nervously, gulping loudly. She looked up slowly to this unfamiliar face.

_It's not, Mai-san...it's more..._

And her strength rose. "No, it's not, Mai-san." Her voice felt fuller, louder, in such a way that she felt shocked herself, as though it was not her speaking. "It's more..._so much more..._" She looked up strongly at Mai. "I...feel this way...I know it. I...I _need_ this person...I...I've never felt this way before but I know it; I'm in love, Mai-san. You say I don't know, Mai-san, but...how can someone who claims not to believe in love...know?"

Mai's hand was trembling over her cup...

_Please, Mai-san, please accept this...don't walk away, don't look away, don't abandon me for this please... I'm disgusting...dirtied, reaching out to..._

_Mai-san, I need you..._

"I-I'm in love with... Mai-san, I...!"

Fear rose in her, but the want, the _raw need_ to tell Mai this, overpowered it brilliantly.

_"Mai-san..I...I like you...!"_

Her eyes settled pleadingly on Mai, anxiety pounding through her veins, but she couldn't feel anymore...she was simply watching Mai, dreading but intently awaiting her reaction...

_Everything happened so fast..._

Shizuka heard the crash of porcelain shattering against the wall behind her, heard the dribble of green tea down the wall and the clattering of the material onto the tiled floor. Shizuka was frozen, eyes widened as Mai retracted her hand, eyes alit with burning anger...

_M-Mai-san..._

"_Shut up...!!!"_ she screamed, voice ringing throughout the empty house. Shizuka simply stared up, motionless... "Don't talk like you know it all!!! You have no idea what you're talking about!! You're fourteen!!"

"Ah, M--" Shizuka tried to speak, feeling tears well up in her eyes. _It's..._

Mai's fingers were clenched, pounded down onto the kohatsu. She glared murderously at Shizuka; a fiery rage burning inside of her... "Did you think that by coming here and saying this _shit_ to me that I'd just fall over crying and saying I loved you too?! Were you that _stupid?!_ Someone like you...how could you expect _me_ to love someone like you...! You...you've _ruined_ everything for me...!!"

Shizuka gasped loudly. Every guilty thought came rushing back to her; all the conflicting thoughts in her head, all the times she had inwardly questioned how Mai really felt about the situation...she even remembered that smile, that which she had shown the morning Shizuka was at her house...Mai had reassured her, telling her not to worry, she was fine...and now she was...

She was overwhelmed, staring up at Mai with tears appearing in her eyes,frozen.

_"You ruined everything...!" _Mai continued. "_It's all your fault...!_ I was going to duel...I was going to finally show my true abilities...and you made me miss it...! And now, for you to come here, and think you can tell you like me and expect me to like you back...! You don't _understand...! You're just a child...!"_

Something inside Shizuka snapped at that.

_"I'm _not _a child!!"_

Mai froze, still seething, though quieted, at least.

Shizuka's hands were clenched into her lap, and she stared down at such. Salty tears drifted down her face, barely hidden by her brunette bangs. A ragged sigh escaped her lips, before she continued. "I'm not...I'm really not...I...I just...M-Mai-san...!"

_I-I'm not...Mai-san...really..._

Mai stood straight, fingers running through her blonde, elegant hair, and sighing irritably.

"Just...leave..." she said calmly.

Shizuka nodded silently, spilling tears over her clenched hands.

* * *

_"You ruined everything for me...!"_

Shizuka's face had fallen, no longer courageous, but sunken, gazing sadly at the frozen ground. She didn't respond to the frigid air around her, didn't shiver at the sudden appearance of freezing wind. There were dried tears left to her face...

_Mai-san...sumimasen..._

_That same image rose so easily into her mind; That of Mai slumped over the table that morning she had awoke in Mai's house..._

_"It's your fault...!"_

_That's what...you were thinking...wasn't it, Mai-san...? _Her inner voice was just as painful as the real one she had spoken in only moments before. _When I saw you, through the opening of that door...when you were bent over the kohatsu. That's what you were thinking...you _were _angry at me...Mai-san...you looked at me as a child, and so you smiled...sincerely, I thought...you told me not to be sad, but you all the while were angry at me..._

Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks, and the cold air attacked it, making her skin prickle with coldness. She stumbled in her steps; and stopped briefly, as the most painful of Mai's words recurred in her head...:

_"You're just a child...!"_

Her lips clenched over one another, face flushing, whether from the cold air or from the repetition of her tears. She lifted her hands, wiping away each one, sobbing loudly in the process...

_That's all you saw me as...the entire time..._she sobbed inwardly. _A child, who would cry out if you spoke truthfully about the matter...I...I'm so stupid...! I thought you were sincere; I thought you meant every spoken word to me, I thought every smile, every kind gesture was sincere..._

_All the while you were looking down on me, like...like..._

_"Oi, kousan," _Kaiba Seto had murmured to her.

_The image of Katsuya crying for her...crying because he accepted what happened, no matter how much it hurt him..._

_"You're just a child...!"_

_...like a child...._

Pinpricks of coldness landed softly on her cheeks. She looked up slowly, watching little bits of white fluff fall down on her, all around her...

_Snow..._

_"Kaasan!" _she remembered calling as a child. _"It's snowing!! Look! It's...it's beautiful, Kaasan...!"_

Her hand, held at ready toward her face, spread its fingers slowly. She watched, eyes glazed, as the snowflakes alit upon her pale skin and melted.

_They were right all along, weren't they...? That I am...still a child... Niichan, you always smiled at me, held my hand and led me forward... Kaasan, you protected me with every breath you took...and Mai-san, you hid your anger, your frustration with me...because, like a kid, you knew I would cry and mope if you told me how you felt about the situation....Niichan must be the same way...angry at me inside...because of what I did...but he cried, and told me everything was all right...when I'm sure he would have liked to shout at me..._

_Why am I...this way...?! _she thought painfully, inner voice breaking. _Why am I so childish...?! Why can't I grow up, like you all want me to?! I'm just there to upset you all, all I do is bring misery... I...I..._

_I hate myself...I want to grow up..._

It was a painful need she had long known. Something she knew but ignored, something she wanted to face but couldn't all the same...

_I told myself I was grown-up, and was brought down when reminded that I wasn't...but I ignored it...because I was so sure...I was simply arrogant the entire time...I have always been just a kid..._

"Kawai!" her mother called excitedly, glancing quickly at her from her place at the window. "Look! It's snowing! Kawai!" her voice was alive, face flushed from the cold, and she was grinning freely at Shizuka as the young girl entered her apartment silently...

Shizuka simply walked into her room, face hidden beneath the shield that was her bangs.

"Kawai...?" her mother responded slowly.

_The snow always excited her before..._ she thought, confusion uprising within her.

_Niichan, _Shizuka thought sadly as she huddled into a ball in her room. _It's selfishness isn't it...? I was scared, but some part of me thought Mai-san would like me back when I told her how I felt. And now... I want to grow up. And I know some part of me just wants to because it thinks Mai-san will like me then...I'm so selfish, Niichan!! I know you like her... and I thought selfishly I could get to her first...I...I'm...so disgusting..._

_Niichan, you were always the one person who loved me for who I was...and I'm afraid to change, Niichan, but..._

_I...I..._

_I want to grow up...!_

* * *

Mai watched the door for minutes afterward, rooted to her spot there in the living room. Snow had found its way down from the skies, falling as a sparkling blanket of whiteness. Her violet eyes followed each snowflake delicately; As though each fluttery pattern would soothe her, soothe her anger...

_I...I overreacted, _she muttered inwardly. She sighed, finally tearing her vision away from the lit windows, hand falling gently onto the kohatsu.

_"Mai-san...I...I like you...!"_

Anger bubbled in her stomach once more. Just who did Shizuka-san think she was?! She had travelled through the cold to tell her that she _liked_ her...Mai shook her head.

_Did she actually think I'd like her back...?_ She groaned in frustration. _As if she was the first to ever say she was in love with me...that's all I ever hear now. All the men I meet are the same -- claiming to be in love with me, even that idiot I met back on the ship to Duelist Kingdom said he want to marry me, of all things. It's all shallow...all lies. They think they like me cos of my looks, cos of my dueling skills, cos of...how I act. They don't...know me for real..._

_They don't even try..._

Mai felt horribly disgusting whenever she thought of that...that _need _that she felt...it was an impossibility...a quality lost to her. She was...independant. She didn't need anyone...never would but...

_You're just like the rest...Shizuka-san..._ she thought harshly, as though the young girl were still listening, could hear every cruel thought directed towards her. _You don't know me...at all. The side you saw me speak to you in is the real me...unloving, cruel, bitter. That's me. I am no one, just a woman trying to be the best, someone without a personality, one who only knows what they want. You were scared of who I really was, Shizuka-san, I could tell. You don't like me, you admire me and confuse that for love. You are a little girl._

She remembered Shizuka moping beside her at the Battle City Finals, over a simple matter of Jou not being able to take her out, she remembered her giggling in the back of the convertible over a simple joke uttered to Jou. And she remembered...

_"It's just a game, Mai-san!!!"_

She remembered violently dropping the girl onto the darkened pavement...walking away, anger coursing through her like a burning sensation, leaving Shizuka behind out of pure rage...

_"Mai-san...I...I like you...!" _

She remembered throwing the cup she held shakingly in hand; That which she threw barely a foot away from Shizuka, hitting and breaking it against the wall behind her...

_She doesn't understand...she never will. She's a child..._

And the most bitter of thoughts passed through her head at that point, but all the same it was true, so true, and she could not erase it...:

_Shizuka-san...you disgust me._

* * *

"Mai!!"

"Ah?" Mai snapped out of deep thought; in doing so suddenly felt the cold of the air around. She shivered involuntarily, hands digging into the warmth of her coat. She saw a blonde boy, grinning wildly, running (slipping, falling, getting back up) toward her. "Ah, Jou."

_He had the decency not to add 'chan' this time, I'm impressed. _

"Hey Mai! What's up?" He halted beside her, slowing to her speed as she walked down the sidewalk.

"Nothing. How'd school go for you today?" she replied boredly.

"THAT IDIOT KAIBA KEEPS INSULTING ME FOR THE PLACE I CAME IN AT THE FINALS!!! AGH!!" he yelled, much to Mai's displeasure. She grinned, though, sometimes Jou's complaints were excellent invitations for her _own_ insults...

"You never told me what place you came in. Really, I'd like to know. Last? Did you even get a place? Don't tell me they didn't even let you play."

"Don't YOU start, Mai-_chan_," he responded teasingly.

He was whamped up the back of his head in response. _"Don't call me Mai-chan..."_

"OWW!!! Jeez, Mai..." a single tear speckled in an eye as he massaged the back of his head gingerly. His face lifted suddenly. "Ne! Mai! Shizuka-chan went out today! Did you see her?" he asked, trying to bring up conversation.

Mai paused, expression angering for a moment's worth, before it reverted to indifference. Her eyes closed gently. "Iie."

"She probably went out to see the snow," Jou grinned. "She loves the snow; Winter's her favorite season."

"Aa."

"Mai...are you angry?"

Mai's eyes snapped open, glaring down at Jou. "Nani...?! What would make you think that...?"

"You're tense. You're, well, trying to ignore everything that I say," replied Jou honestly.

"Tense?" Mai laughed. "Jou, you wouldn't know," she reassured him.

"Sure, I would..." he said, looking up at her slowly. Mai met his gaze, eyes locking awkwardly. Jou looked away quickly, seemingly embarrassed. He looked down at his feet as he spoke the next words: "I know you...Mai...I've known you for a while now...and I..." he blushed, "...understand you..."

_...only want my looks, my skills, everything about me that they can see, not understand..._

_"...understand..." "Mai...I understand you..." _

Mai stopped walking; Jou followed suite and their eyes remained locked.

"Mai...?"

She looked away, embarrassment washing over her. "Gomen. I just...spaced out there. Gomen," she finished. An expression washed over Jou's face, one she didn't recognize. "Jou...?"

_Was he hurt...? _

"Mai, will you go out with me?" he said, a little loudly, perhaps out of nervousness. Immediately he winced, as though another blow was headed for him.

Mai smiled solemnly, chuckling into the frigid air and lifting her head, eyes gazing into the gray sky.

They had reached Shizuka's hotel by now; Jou stopped, staring at Mai expectantly, causing her to laugh more loudly. She finally sighed, satisfied.

"Sure." Then she walked past him, toward her own house. When he was sure she could no longer hear him, he threw triumphant fists into the air, and yelled into the still air:

"YES!!!" He spun around, as though dancing. His hair collided with his features, and bits of snow landed on his rosy features, perfecting him and his happiness only more. Finally, he subsided, ending it with a thankful gaze at the sky, and trudged through the newly fallen snow to Shizuka's apartment.

"Niichan..." he heard a soft voice whisper, causing him to look up to its speaker.

"Shizuka-chan!! Hey!" he greeted. There was a moment's pause, and she leapt toward him, wrapping her arms around him in a desperate embrace. "Sh-Shizuka-chan!" he laughed, hugging her back obliviously.

Shizuka followed, though her eyes were widened in surprise, perhaps shock, and she spoke no words.

_Mai-san...Niichan...you..._

"I'm happy for you, Niichan..." she finally murmured into his chest, though she knew he heard nothing but a muffled phrase.

_I really am..._

To be continued.

* * *

1) Kohatsu -- a small table you sit at, something they use a lot over in Japan. When it gets colder outside, they put a blanket on it...in some way I have yet to figure out, and you get to cover up while sitting there :D God I wish they had those here.

**A/N: **I promised in the beginning that there would only be IMPLICATIONS at the Jou x Mai pairing...so, I'm sorry for having them hook up. I'm sure no one cares, after all, Jou/Mai is an _adorable_ het pairing...but...yeah, I just went against my word, and I'm feeling bad about it. ::hits self::

I don't like this chapter. I really don't. It was too short, but anything else just didn't seem to fit here and now.

It's awkward going into Mai's POV now, after being in Shizuka's for 5 chapters straight now. Please let me know if I've made her OOC. Thanks!

**Review Corner: **

**elsiey -- **Yeah, about that, sorry I took so long...it was such a hard chap to write. Is it just me, or do all the Mai/Shizuka fics have that now, the whole Jou liking Mai thing? I dunno. I haven't read a lot. My fic was like the only one on this pairing when I started writing it. Thanks for reviewing, though!!!

**gracie320 -- **Thanks so much!!!

**Yami no Marik -- **Yeah...::breathes raggedly:: It only gets worse from here, I promise...as if that's reassuring...but yay! I can't wait to read your fic! I checked your bio and it wasn't there, so I guess I have to wait...::cries:: Thanks for the review though!


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